Wedding Woes

Stop diagnosing Bob and tell him he upset you.

Dear Prudence,

I got married recently (yay!). Before the wedding, my friends organized a bachelor party for me. One friend, who we can call Bob, has always rubbed people the wrong way for not being able to read the room. We think he is on the autism spectrum but generally means well. Anyway, Bob was completely insufferable during my bachelor party. So after the wedding, I have tactfully kept my distance, stepping away from shared activities. I don’t want to have the conversation with Bob about why he offended me because I’m just over him, but I also don’t blame him for what he may not be able to control. However, characteristically, he cannot read this room and keeps texting me to catch up. What should I do?

—Hot Pursuit

Re: Stop diagnosing Bob and tell him he upset you.

  • Have a real conversation with him. Tell him what he did that you were upset with. But you’re being a little childish if you’re treating him differently, and you know that he probably doesn’t know why. 
  • "Dear Prudie, I don't want to use my words. How can I get people to know what I'm thinking?"
  • LW is making a lot of assumptions here.  Just talk to Bob and tell him I'm upset with you because of XYZ and I need some distance.

    But I'm also annoyed with the LW that he didn't include any details of what Bob did.  Come on!  That's why we're here, lol.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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