Dear Prudence,
I am vegan. I don’t put my personal choices on anyone else, but I do have to be vigilant in what I eat and prepare for myself. The problem is with my 11-year-old stepdaughter “Annie.” Annie has a bad habit of deciding she doesn’t want the food ordered for her and wants mine instead. This often leaves me with less than half a plate, especially when I have to bring my own food. And Annie will not even finish what she whines for. Instead, she will take one or two bites and then decide she really wants to finish her hamburger instead. It is especially irritating when we go out to eat, where the vegan options are very limited. I can’t even get a fruit salad in peace. Annie doesn’t do this with anyone but me. I usually try and hang back when it comes to parenting problems, but I hit my limit when I bought some rather expensive vegan cookies to take to a party, only for Annie to get her mitts on them—she took a bite out of every single one!
At this point, it is obvious this is a power play.
Despite having a pantry full of snacks, Annie went deliberately after my food and made sure to ruin it all. As punishment, I changed the wi-fi password and told Annie she wouldn’t be getting it back the entire weekend. She threw a crying fit and my husband immediately changed it back. Annie was “sorry.” I do the lion share of cooking and grocery shopping here. I am not going to be treated like this, so I told my husband I would cook for myself and myself alone. My husband hates cooking and claims I am “starving” his daughter. Annie is perfectly capable of using the microwave and heating up a pizza pocket. My husband can do the same. The tension in our house is unbelievably high. I always thought I had a good relationship with Annie. Her older brother is very distant, but this new development is driving me up the wall. I have tried talking to Annie, and she doesn’t know why she wants my food, just that she does. What do I do here?
—My Food