I think you leave him since you're cheating and unhappy.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I (F-30s) am married to a wonderful man that I love beyond words. He’s kind, loving, helpful, affectionate, funny, etc. The problem is that as much as we love each other, he does not have much interest in sex. We have sex less than 10 times per year, and when we do, the quality is lackluster, despite being open, honest, and specific about my desires and encouraging him to do the same. We have had many talks, he has seen a doctor, and he knows that I am unhappy with that area of our lives. He says he loves me and will try harder, though no changes ever last. Sex is important to me, and I miss who I was sexually before him. I recently gave into temptation and started sleeping with an old flame. He’s the perfect sexual partner for me and exceeds all of my sexual needs. I just can’t get past the pain of lying to my husband. But the thought of resigning myself to a lifetime of non-existent or unfulfilling sex makes me feel so sad and hopeless. Where do I go from here?

—Sexless in the South

charlotte989875

You need to come clean to your husband and probably make a plan to separate. You’re trying to justify cheating and there is no justification. Tell him the truth and handle the consequences; one of which may be not having to worry about an unfulfilling sex life with your husband because he’s got every right to leave you. 

short+sassy

She should have spoken to him about an open marriage just for sex, before it got to this point.  Maybe he would have been okay with that, maybe he wouldn't have been.  But it might have solved the problem with his blessing, before she resorted to lying and cheating.

MyNameIsNot

Where you go from here is a divorce lawyer. You're cheating on your husband and trying to make it his fault. You don't even acknowledge your own failure, just how much it's going to hurt you when it comes out. 

He deserves better.