Wedding Woes

Just send it to your friend.

Dear Prudence,

I have an old-school etiquette question. I love sending out holiday cards; I’m single, so I can’t do the lovely-but-impersonal postcards with a photo of the family and no personal note. Instead, I get a dozen-ish pretty cards that are blank inside and write a heartfelt message to the recipient about how much their friendship over the past year has meant to me. This year, my list includes members of my all-female virtual co-working space. We’re all very close, in the freeing manner of people who don’t know the players of each other’s lives personally. For most of these women, I know their children’s names but not their husbands’. (Interesting, right?!) Is it OK for me to keep the card addressed only to my friend, with the personal note inside, and then end with something like “Wishing you and the fam a happy holiday!” to acknowledge everyone else? I don’t know if it’s rude to not include their husbands on the envelope, but the fact is I don’t know them or their names, and the message isn’t for them. And I don’t want to leave these wonderful women off the list just because they’re married and I can’t figure out how to handle it!

—Christmas Pen Pal

Re: Just send it to your friend.

  • You’re way over thinking this one. Send it to your friend with a note inside. 

    I love holiday cards but could not tell you how any of the envelopes were addressed! 
  • Do you know her last name? Can’t you use “The Smith Family”?

  • Do you know her last name? Can’t you use “The Smith Family”?
    I think the issue is that LW wants to send personalized notes to their friends in their Christmas cards and then wants to know if it's 'weird' to throw in a 'happy holidays to the fam!' at the end. It's not and IDK why they had to write to Prudie about it.  

    I'm seriously annoyed by this person.  I bet they over complicate all sorts of situations. 
  • All of that sounds fine to me.  I can't imagine anyone being bent out of shape or even noticing that the Christmas card is only addressed to their coworker.  Especially if people's partners, including their names, are not usually mentioned.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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