Therapy.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

About a month ago, I had to get surgery for a majorly messed-up knee caused by a mixture of climbing and skiing. I tore my ACL, MCL, and meniscus. I let it sit and marinate for 10 months before deciding to do something about it, hoping that ignorance would cure it. All my life, I’ve been active. I’m 19 and have chosen not to go to college and to instead pursue flight school and venture into the outdoor industry. I’ve spent the majority of the past year escaping my doubts about not going down the “normal” path for most kids my age by traveling the world, climbing my arms off, and working full-time as a waitress.

The past month (since the beginning of November), life has finally forced me to sit down and think. I am trying to find the beauty in solitude, as both my parents whom I still live with work full time as do almost all of my friends who are not in university somewhere, and yet everything I do bores me. Knitting hats bores me, listening to podcasts bores me, reading bores me. I’ve been trying to sleep the days away, knowing that once I am able to start at least walking again, things will get better. During all this time that I have had to wallow in self-pity and discouragement, I wonder how different my life is from those around me who are my age. Most of my friends are in their mid-to-late twenties, and they all tell me that they only wish they would have been as ambitious as I am when they were my age.

But I can’t help but wonder, is it a problem that I cannot imagine my life ever slowing down? My physical therapist told me that if I had messed up my knee so badly when I was a bit older—say, 24 or so—then I might not have had to get it fixed, considering I would be less active. I laughed and told her that my life was only going to get more go-go-go-go and active from here on out. My question is, I guess, I feel as though it is difficult for me to find joy in any capacity in having a simple life, and knowing that the life in which I have planned to live is not going to be sustainable forever, how will I manage to prepare myself for the mental battle that will come when life forces me to slow down? Whether it be oodles of sports injuries, needing to find a job that pays better than those rooted in the outdoor industry, or being too tired to keep going, I cannot help but be worried about what my future holds, no matter how excited I am about it.

—Struggling in Solitude

charlotte989875

I find it weird that a physical therapist would say 24 is too “old” to repair torn ligaments because someone would be less active. Most professional athletes are older than 24 and have major injuries repaired. 

So this reads as a bragging “look how active and adventurous i am, how can I possibly sit still and recover”. But even so- therapy to work through how you feel because you never know what my happen in life and you may not get the adventurous life you plan so you need to have some tools to prepare for unexpected any unexpected turn of events. 

short+sassy

They're very young, so I'm trying to give them a little credit.

But instead of sitting on their ass for the last year listening to podcasts, why didn't they take a few college courses that will further an outdoorsy career?  I hate to break it to the LW, but a lot of those careers are highly sought after and either require a college degree or you basically have to have one because of the competition.

That would be using their downtime much more productively and more likely to be something they find interesting.

Random anecdote about a famous author.  Margaret Mitchell, who wrote Gone With the Wind, had always been an avid writer.  Even worked as a journalist in her younger days.  But she was also extremely active in her community and charities.  GWTW was the only novel she ever wrote.  She wrote it at a time when she had badly injured her ankle and couldn't walk very much for months.  After recovering, she went back to her whirlwind life.

After it's runaway success, she was besieged by publishing houses to write another novel. Her response to that was essentially, "No.  Now I'm busy."

levioosa

Therapy. And that PT was so off the mark I don’t even know what to say. I’m dragging my feet on repairing my torn meniscus but I need to because not doing anything is going to lead to early osteoarthritis and an eventual knee replacement (and I’m in my 30s) I guess I might as well roll over and get a cane according to that PT. 

Reminds me of when I was 20 and I got my tonsils out. I used to sing, competitively and extensively and I was very good at it. I was trained as an operatic  singer and my range was incredible. But when I asked the ENT if it would change my voice he literally scoffed and said “what does it matter? It’s not like you’re Christina Aguilera.” But it did change my voice. I lost a whole register and I lost my ability to stay perfectly on pitch 100% of the time. That I might have been able to learn again but losing a whole register was devastating for me at the time. After that I totally understood why Freddie Mercury refused his surgery. 

short+sassy

levioosa said:

Therapy. And that PT was so off the mark I don’t even know what to say. I’m dragging my feet on repairing my torn meniscus but I need to because not doing anything is going to lead to early osteoarthritis and an eventual knee replacement (and I’m in my 30s) I guess I might as well roll over and get a cane according to that PT. 

Reminds me of when I was 20 and I got my tonsils out. I used to sing, competitively and extensively and I was very good at it. I was trained as an operatic  singer and my range was incredible. But when I asked the ENT if it would change my voice he literally scoffed and said “what does it matter? It’s not like you’re Christina Aguilera.” But it did change my voice. I lost a whole register and I lost my ability to stay perfectly on pitch 100% of the time. That I might have been able to learn again but losing a whole register was devastating for me at the time. After that I totally understood why Freddie Mercury refused his surgery. 

A friend of the family was a periodontist.  When I was in college, the singer Jewel had come on the scene and was hugely popular.  But her teeth looked terrible and people wondered why she didn't fix them (I think she has since then).

My friend and I were talking about it and his dad said she was probably worried it might change her voice.  We incredulously asked if that could happen.  He said it is possible when people get major dental work, so it's a valid concern.