Ceremony Optional

knottie2f98ba8aeb73cb71

We both come from large families and are having a huge wedding. The ceremony will be at my parents a few hours before and I know it will be very inconvient for some guest for a variety of reasons like age, location etc. How should I word our website/invites so guest don't feel obligated to attend the ceremony?

Jen4948

Just use standard invitation wording to invite your guests to both the ceremony and the reception and let them figure out from there what they are going to do. If it really is too much trouble for any of them to attend, all they have to do is decline the invitation and let it go at that.

And some of them may very well prefer to go to that much trouble to attend out of affection for you or your fiance. Let them make that adult decision for themselves. They don't need your "permission" to accept or decline the invitation, but that's how "don't feel obligated" comes across.

ILoveBeachMusic

I totally agree with @Jen4948. Just send the properly worded invitation and let your guests decide what they will attend.

banana468

I think you phrase it the way it's proposed but also - you need to host your guests from the time the ceremony starts until the reception ends.  So if your plan wasn' to do that for everyone consider a very private ceremony hosting only those involved and then the big reception. 

MesmrEwe

knottie2f98ba8aeb73cb71 said:

We both come from large families and are having a huge wedding. The ceremony will be at my parents a few hours before and I know it will be very inconvient for some guest for a variety of reasons like age, location etc. How should I word our website/invites so guest don't feel obligated to attend the ceremony?

You're choosing a ceremony location you already know to be inconvenient for your guests - Start with rethinking that!  Also consider logistics like bathroom access, accessibility, weather, temperatures, neighbors, zoning (a lot of locals around here including townships/parishes require permits for any event over 100 on private property, volume/sound amplification restrictions, parking plan approval, etc.), parking, rentals costs, etc. unless your parent's place is already set up as an event venue.

As for the rest, you word your invitation just as you would normally for ceremony and reception and leave it to your guests to decide!  Have a chair for all of them who RSVP as Attending.  Let the family Chatty Cathys know travel time between the two venues so word gets out. The reason people are attending the day is the ceremony itself even if some can't make it to one or the other, they'll decide if the ceremony is too much for them...

MesmrEwe

knottie2f98ba8aeb73cb71 said:

We both come from large families and are having a huge wedding. The ceremony will be at my parents a few hours before and I know it will be very inconvient for some guest for a variety of reasons like age, location etc. How should I word our website/invites so guest don't feel obligated to attend the ceremony?

You're choosing a ceremony location you already know to be inconvenient for your guests - Start with rethinking that!  Also consider logistics like bathroom access, accessibility, weather, temperatures, neighbors, zoning (a lot of locals around here including townships/parishes require permits for any event over 100 on private property, volume/sound amplification restrictions, parking plan approval, etc.), parking, rentals costs, etc. unless your parent's place is already set up as an event venue.

As for the rest, you word your invitation just as you would normally for ceremony and reception and leave it to your guests to decide!  Have a chair for all of them who RSVP as Attending.  Let the family Chatty Cathys know travel time between the two venues so word gets out. The reason people are attending the day is the ceremony itself even if some can't make it to one or the other, they'll decide if the ceremony is too much for them...