This is a tough one.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I live alone in a garden-style apartment on the ground floor. My upstairs neighbors are lovely. They have a big family living in a small space and have always been super gracious about noise, offering to help me move or keep an eye out on my apartment when I’m away, generally just being friendly and chatty whenever I see them. My sliding door and patio are directly underneath their sliding door and second-floor porch. My only complaint about them is that they smoke on their porch…a lot. Technically this is prohibited by the lease agreement. The smell leeches into my apartment through the door and the air conditioning unit and they drop their cigarette butts onto the lawn right outside my door which my dog loves to try to gobble up. If they couldn’t smoke on their porch any longer they would need to go down a flight of stairs and around the building every time they wanted a cigarette. Is there a non-nuclear way to address this without making their lives much harder and potentially ruining a nice friendly relationship?

—Does This Relationship Have to Stink?

banana468

Can you at least address it as a new thing, "Oh I had to bring to your attention that while Marmaduke was on his morning walk I had to pull some butts out of his mouth.   Because this is so toxic to him and I need to ask you to pick them up due to the damage that they can cause." 

VarunaTT

I'd just complain to my landlord.  Unless this is a 2 unit building, neighbors have no way of knowing who complained.  I'd act shocked if they brought it up to me.  I'm still a casual smoker (I know, I know, it's 2 a day) and going to the acceptable places to smoke and disposing correctly of your butts is just part of the deal (I have never smoked inside my living spaces even when it was cold).

short+sassy

I'm normally on the side of speaking directly to neighbors first and it isn't necessarily a bad idea.

But the negative side of that is, if the neighbors don't correct things on their own, then the LW would need to speak to the LL and it would be pretty obvious it was them who said something.

My husband smokes, though only a few cigarettes a day.  It's always outside.  But not being a smoker myself, something I didn't think of for our cruise was what a PITA it would be for him to smoke.

There are usually only two places on a cruise ship you can smoke.  A walled off section of the casino (not the whole casino).  It's disgusting.  The air is hazy with smoke and it reeks of it.  And in one designated spot on the top deck.  Arguably one of the most social spots on the ship, lol.

I felt a mixed combination of mirth/smugness that that's what he gets for being a smoker.  He has to travel up multiple floors to smoke.  But also sympathy because it did seem like a hassle.  But he's a roll with the punches kind of guy and didn't seem to mind.

charlotte989875

This is why there’s a landlord/ property manager. Let them deal with it.