If you die on this hill, it will not end well.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

Me and my boyfriend of four years have an upcoming wedding ceremony for his sister. I was never on good terms with her but in their household, you slip things under the rug and never talk about it, so we never really had a chance to address the problem (even though I proposed that). On the invitation, I was not mentioned, which I do find was done on purpose. In my opinion, my boyfriend should confront her and discuss this issue. His excuse is that his sister did not include me because we are not married, even though we have been together longer than she has with her soon-to-be husband. How should I handle this situation if an open confrontation between me vs. her is not an option?

—I Can’t Take the Drama

banana468

Are you invited or not invited? 

If you're ultimately invited then don't bring this up.  If you aren't invited then IMO it is a hill to die on but you also need to consider how your BF defends you to his family.

VarunaTT

In my crotchety old age, I'd be all, Excellent, an event I don't have to go to!!

I get why LW feels slighted.  But the other things LW has brought up, doesn't bode well for the familial relationship or theirs.  I think a serious discussion needs to happen for LW and BF about their future and how it looks with family.  Then LW can decide if she wants to stay in this relationship.

charlotte989875

Wait are you actually invited or just not named on the invitation? If you’re invited then it’s a petty slight not addressing you. If you’re not invited it’s rude and your bf should say something. You may opt not to go but it is rude not to invite someone’s partner of 4 years.