Dear Amy:
My fiancé and I are planning our wedding. As a bride, I’m planning on making certain requests of my guests, to make sure that my special day is as perfect as possible. For example, I’m asking that my guests wear exclusively yellow at the ceremony. My fiancé has been supportive, but he angrily rejected my other request: that our guests remain silent throughout both the ceremony and reception (to ensure that the focus remains on us). My fiancé said that is irrational. He does not want to have a silent wedding.
I know it’s uncommon. I’ve never heard of anyone else having one, but we’ve had them in my family. The guests are not permitted to speak at all during the ceremony, and the only toasts allowed are from the mothers of the bride and groom. Instrumental music will be playing quietly.
During the reception, the guests may whisper among one another, but may not speak aloud. As the newly married couple, our focus should remain solely on each other rather than on any rowdy guests.
I know it’s a lot to ask, but I feel I should have the wedding I want, so that the start of our life together will be perfect. I want him to support me, even if we disagree on something.”