I have a complicated version of the age-old “how do I find friends” question. I’m a freshman at the university in my hometown. My childhood/high school friends have almost all moved out of state for college, so there’s only a few of us always around (three, to be exact, including me).
The thing is, the other two are dating—and they are my childhood best friend and my high school best friend. For 19-year-olds, they’re pretty serious about the relationship, and I am happy for them! The problem is that when your only close friends are in a relationship, I’m giving them both emotional support when something goes wrong, and since they spend a lot of couple time together, whenever they’re doing couple stuff, I can’t hang out with either of my friends. I am slowly making a couple of friends at university, but they’re usually busy, and I’m not super comfortable with them. The other thing is that I have a very rough home life (I’m a college commuter), which my two best friends know about and so I don’t have to put on a mask for them. An even more complicating factor is that I’m aromantic—I’m not going to be bringing a romantic partner into the mix, so there’s definitely a slight feeling of always being the third wheel. I’m trying to make new friends, but I’m not living in a dorm, and it’s hard to connect with new students since my life is pretty complicated. I know it’s normal to feel lonely when you start college, but I don’t see simple solutions to my issues, and I’m stumped.
—Broken Puzzle Piece