These feelings are normal, but seek help if you can't shake them.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I (35F) recently had my tubes tied due to health, financial, and social reasons, after having two boys back to back. Ultimately I know it was the right thing to do for me and my family but I’m also in mourning. I’d always wanted a larger family but because of the previously aforementioned reasons, it just wasn’t in the cards. It’s been six weeks and I still can’t shake the feeling that I made a mistake. I love my boys more than life but I really wish I’d had the chance to give them another sibling, maybe even a sister. My husband comes from a large (eight siblings) family and is perfectly happy with our two so he doesn’t get it. Most of my friends are either childless or on their third or fourth kid and I feel very caught in the middle. I’m not sure how to deal with this sadness.

—Mommy Is Sad

banana468

You're mourning what wasn't but you also need to focus on why you did what you did.  See a therapist if you still are questioning your decisions. 

Casadena

This is so hard. I feel for this LW bigtime bc it's very much where i am now. Focus on the reasons you decided this was the right choice for you and your family and let yourself feel sad about it. I don't think feeling sad about it for 6 weeks is concerning necessarily. IF it's impacting your life in bigger ways, definitely seek therapy. 

H and I have had lot of "#3 or no?" conversations over the last couple years. I'm more on board with yes but in agreement that it's a better choice not to. Part of that decision was length of time of G's treatment and everything that goes along with that. It's been mental gymnastics ever since we found out he will end treatment in a couple months for lots of reason, but the possibility of another baby is definitely in there for me. But I don't think i'll ever not feel sad about not having more even though i know it's the right decision.