Wedding Woes

You need to find the right meds and/or therapy.

Dear Prudence,

I’ve always been anxious, high-strung, and intense with major people-pleasing tendencies. I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and have been told—by a host of doctors—that I’m on the high-functioning end of the spectrum, but not enough to benefit from medical intervention. Despite all this and a decade of therapy and medication, I still feel like I’m barely functional sometimes. I have almost zero patience on a good day and the slightest deviation from routine can utterly derail me. Add to the chaos my 3-year-old twins, and I’m a train wreck.

I could use some advice on patience, deep breathing, or anything else that could be useful when I’m about to blow my stack (which with toddlers seems to happen a lot). I’m in the process of finding a new therapist, and I love my twins more than life and would never do more than raise my voice but they drive me to the absolute edge sometimes. My spouse helps temper them a bit but they’re deployed usually three to five months of the year and my parents are both older, each with their own respective long-term cancer battle so outside help is limited. Is it yoga, deep breathing, or alcohol?

—Help in Harrisburg

Re: You need to find the right meds and/or therapy.

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    The title says it all. Find a new doctor/therapist that can really help you.
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    It is for sure not alcohol
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    I have become very jaded about doctors, especially over the last year.  Many of them are mediocre at best and some are outright dangerous with their ignorance.

    It's important to listen to medical advice.  Just don't take it as gospel, especially if it isn't working.  In the LW's case, it isn't working.  They should do their own research and have some treatment ideas to speak to their doctor or therapist about.  If they've already been shut down, then look for a different medical provider who WILL listen to them.

    Though I'm not sure what the LW means by a host of doctors saying they don't need medical intervention.  Because in the next sentence they say they are on medication.  Perhaps there is a medication(s) they feel might be a better fit and they are being refused those?

    It's especially important for women to advocate for themselves.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    Mental health care is pathetic. You have to find another doctor and you just have to keep trying. It's going to be an uphill battle. 
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    You need a better therapist, a good psychiatrist, and a nanny or babysitter. 

    Even without a history of depression/anxiety raising two toddlers, alone up to half the year, is impossible. You need more hands and help. And time to yourself. But also good therapy and the right meds. 
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