My son has not sent out wedding thank you

knottiee99ff6fce982272b

My son has been married 10 months and has not sent out wedding thank yous.  I have mentioned to him that they need to be done three or four times.  The last time I brought it up he ignored my text.   His wife also never sent out bridal shower thank yous.  I am embarrassed that my friends and family have not been thanked for all they did.  Many traveled from out of town and incurred additional expenses besides the wedding gift.  I am over trying to get my son to be respectful and wanted to know if it would be out of line if I sent thank yous - not for them but rather from my husband and I thanking our friends and family for all they did.  I can't stand that they have not been properly thanked.  I'm wondering what you all think.

banana468

knottiee99ff6fce982272b said:

My son has been married 10 months and has not sent out wedding thank yous.  I have mentioned to him that they need to be done three or four times.  The last time I brought it up he ignored my text.   His wife also never sent out bridal shower thank yous.  I am embarrassed that my friends and family have not been thanked for all they did.  Many traveled from out of town and incurred additional expenses besides the wedding gift.  I am over trying to get my son to be respectful and wanted to know if it would be out of line if I sent thank yous - not for them but rather from my husband and I thanking our friends and family for all they did.  I can't stand that they have not been properly thanked.  I'm wondering what you all think.

Well, as the parent you can be passive aggressive and say if he cannot express his gratitude appropriately to those who attended his wedding nearly a year ago then you know that gifts are not going to be given.  If you think that babies are possibly on the horizon you can advise that you're not going to go out of your way to plan a baby shower when guests weren't properly thanked.

But you should at some point wash your hands that if you stressed that this needs to be done nagging isn't going to help your cause.  You said what he needs to do and he's a a grown adult.  He can now accept that his actions come with consequences. 

Jen4948

knottiee99ff6fce982272b said:

My son has been married 10 months and has not sent out wedding thank yous.  I have mentioned to him that they need to be done three or four times.  The last time I brought it up he ignored my text.   His wife also never sent out bridal shower thank yous.  I am embarrassed that my friends and family have not been thanked for all they did.  Many traveled from out of town and incurred additional expenses besides the wedding gift.  I am over trying to get my son to be respectful and wanted to know if it would be out of line if I sent thank yous - not for them but rather from my husband and I thanking our friends and family for all they did.  I can't stand that they have not been properly thanked.  I'm wondering what you all think.

I think that at this point you have done all you can reasonably be expected to do to get your son and his wife to send thank yous. They are adults and need to be held accountable for their own failings.

I would let your relatives and friends know, but only an individual basis and not collectively or pre-emptively (i.e., only to those who bring it up to you), that you regret that they have not received appropriate thank-yous from your son and his wife and that, speaking for yourself, you appreciate their gestures. This gives your son and his wife the space to send out their own thank yous and appropriate apologies for their tardiness in doing so.

But this communication should not be expected by anyone to take the place of a true thank you from your son and his wife. I would continue to give them the space to do the right thing even if they don't.