Wedding Woes
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You're an asshole if you do this.

Dear Prudence,

I (32F) just got engaged to my partner (37M). Yay! We are on the same page about wanting a domestic destination wedding with our immediate families and a couple of our closest friends. The two friends he’s inviting are unmarried, and though they both have partners we like, we do not plan on inviting their partners and both feel fine about that decision. The issue is that the two friends I’d like to invite are both married… and I don’t like their husbands. They’re fine, but I only have cordial relationships with them, and I don’t really want two men I barely know at my micro wedding alongside our 13 nearest and dearest loved ones. Is it OK to not give a plus-one to a married wedding guest?

—It’s Not You, It’s Him

Re: You're an asshole if you do this.

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    Ugh. Fuck you guys and your “micro” wedding. Just elope because you clearly don’t even care about anyone you’re inviting. 


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    How on earth do you plan to expect people to spend a ton of money under the pretense of honoring your lifetime love and commitment without honoring theirs?

    Also, you're totally delusional to think of how much time you'll spend with these people.  Think of all the weddings you've attended.  How much time did you spend with the bride and groom?  There's a REASON that people attend with their partner and it's because you're not possibly capable of devoting the time you think you can.  

    If you did this to me I wouldn't attend I would tell you why and if you didn't reconsider and realize what a mistake it was I would reconsider your ethics and our friendship. 
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    It is disrespectful not to invite your friends' significant others to a wedding, regardless of whether you like those SOs or not. I think it's especially rude to exclude them from a wedding that involves travel. You don't have to like everyone at every gathering, even your own wedding. 

    If this is that big of a problem, you two should either elope or just have your immediate families at your wedding. What you have planned right now is not the answer.


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    LW, if you told me my H was not invited to your wedding for any reason, I'd tell you to choke on all the dicks.   Did you even read this letter before hitting send?  
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    Agree with all the above!
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited February 22
    This is sticking in my craw so hard. 

    I would hesitate to go to a local wedding alone (because DH couldn't make it for some reason) unless I knew that more than 5 people I know, and like, would be there. 

    I am not close enough to ANY of my friend's families (parents, siblings, whatever) to fill my time at a destination wedding, so I would be BORED out of my mind without DH. 

    Furthermore, you are asking people to take time off work, away from home, and travel.  Basically, your wedding could be their vacation.  

    The audacity, LW.  
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    mrsconn23 said:
    This is sticking in my craw so hard. 

    I would hesitate to go to a local wedding alone (because DH couldn't make it for some reason) unless I knew that more than 5 people I know, and like, would be there. 

    I am not close enough to ANY of my friend's families (parents, siblings, whatever) to fill my time at a destination wedding, so I would be BORED out of my mind without DH. 

    Furthermore, you are asking people to take time off work, away from home, and travel.  Basically, your wedding could be their vacation.  

    The audacity, LW.  
    Yup.  They're asking people to take vacation away from loved ones for this!!

    Nope.   If I knew someone considering this I would probably start to distance myself from that person simply because I think they'd have such a self centered view that I would not be able to possibly like the company of someone so selfish.
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    It's bad enough to invite someone without their SO to a local wedding.  But it's taking AH-lery 10 levels higher to expect people to travel and go on a dictated vacation without their SO.

    But this is a good way to keep their micro-wedding even more micro.

    It never ceases to amaze me that people actually think it takes away from their wedding to have people there they don't know well.  It doesn't matter in the slightest.  But it would take away from my wedding at least a little bit if someone I was close to wasn't there.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    What on earth?! Jeez just don’t invite them you clearly don’t care about them. Even the way it just so happens that LW and their FI just so happen to each have two friends that make the cut…this is a couple that likes things even and is watching numbers with scrutiny. I’d absolutely not attend this wedding and let me friend know exactly why. 
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    Don’t invite either of them.  Most people are ok with “family only weddings”.  But I agree with the others, you’re the worst for even asking. 

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