Wedding Woes

The truth is, Joe sucks.

Dear Prudence,

My husband Joe sometimes exaggerates and embellishes, or misremembers incidents, and gets very irate if I correct him. To be clear, this isn’t something that happens a lot, and I’ve learned to just let it go if he tells a random waiter we’ve been together for 17 years when it’s really 19 or tells a friend I made lasagna for dinner Saturday night when it was actually Wednesday night. But there are times when he’ll give people incorrect information and I feel like being accurate and honest is more important. For instance, when he told friends that my daughter’s boyfriend lived with us for several months because his home life was toxic. Joe became testy when I said, “Well, actually, he was just here on the weekends.” He later told me not to correct him when he was talking to someone.

Recently, Joe told my elderly father that I fell down the stairs. Joe wasn’t there when it happened, and I’d told him I fell AFTER coming down the stairs when I mentioned the incident. Now my father is telling people I fell down the stairs—even though I’ve reminded him twice what the sequence of events was. When I brought this to Joe’s attention, he said I’m being nitpicky, and the detail didn’t really matter. I think the details do matter, and accuracy is important—especially when I’m getting phone calls from family lecturing me about being careful on the stairs! This is really bothering me, but I know bringing it to Joe’s attention will be a big deal and he will be defensive and have hurt feelings. Do I just grin and bear it, or is the truth as important as I feel it is?

—The Truth Is Out There, Isn’t It?

Re: The truth is, Joe sucks.

  • banana468 said:
    "Joe if you get the facts wrong I'm going to correct you.  If this is a problem then either get the story right or don't tell one."
    I totally agree.  The LW should explain it like they did here.  That when they also feel the details don't matter, which happens a lot, they don't make a correction.  But when they feel it does matter, they will.

    If he doesn't like it, that's too bad.  The LW gets to determine which details they think are important.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • This is the type of lying that drives me batty. I’ll never forget when the final straw to a friendship that I had was when said friend lied to another person— “oh I had a coke earlier. I don’t drink Pepsi, I actually hate it and NEVER have it” when three hours earlier I saw her drinking a Pepsi. Such a stupid lie! lol. There were of course a bunch of other things that ended it but I’ll never forget that moment. 

  • My mom does this but not on purpose.  She just doesn’t remember things correctly.  We correct her…. She doesn’t like it, but some need to be corrected.

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