Dear Prudence,
My husband Joe sometimes exaggerates and embellishes, or misremembers incidents, and gets very irate if I correct him. To be clear, this isn’t something that happens a lot, and I’ve learned to just let it go if he tells a random waiter we’ve been together for 17 years when it’s really 19 or tells a friend I made lasagna for dinner Saturday night when it was actually Wednesday night. But there are times when he’ll give people incorrect information and I feel like being accurate and honest is more important. For instance, when he told friends that my daughter’s boyfriend lived with us for several months because his home life was toxic. Joe became testy when I said, “Well, actually, he was just here on the weekends.” He later told me not to correct him when he was talking to someone.
Recently, Joe told my elderly father that I fell down the stairs. Joe wasn’t there when it happened, and I’d told him I fell AFTER coming down the stairs when I mentioned the incident. Now my father is telling people I fell down the stairs—even though I’ve reminded him twice what the sequence of events was. When I brought this to Joe’s attention, he said I’m being nitpicky, and the detail didn’t really matter. I think the details do matter, and accuracy is important—especially when I’m getting phone calls from family lecturing me about being careful on the stairs! This is really bothering me, but I know bringing it to Joe’s attention will be a big deal and he will be defensive and have hurt feelings. Do I just grin and bear it, or is the truth as important as I feel it is?
—The Truth Is Out There, Isn’t It?