Am I Wrong?? Wedding vs Pregnancy

knottie845afbaa99fc29b3

My wedding will be taking place in the fall and my sister (MOH) recently found out she’s pregnant and based off of the dates she will give birth a month before my wedding? Am I wrong for being upset?…

BUT, before you judge here the details behind the situation. My sister is 3 months into this “relationship” with the father of child I use quotation marks due it being a drama relationship and have already broken up my then a few times . I asked her in the beginning to be safe to avoid getting pregnant because it’s not a good time cause of the year ahead. To note this is not her first pregnancy either. I’ve expressed my disappointment not only for her timing but her personal life well needs to be in order. She is also a year older than me so this isn’t reckless young behavior we’re in our late 20’s . Lastly when first announcing my wedding/her agreeing to be my MOH she promised to celebrate/have a bachelorette party for me but for obvious reasons now that won’t be happening. I’ve expressed my frustration in text first giving her well wishes and a safe pregnancy but expressed my frustration. She never replied but still walks around me like nothing happened. 

To add salt to wound she’s demanding my mother to celebrate her upcoming birthday with a vacation out of the country. Cause she doesn’t wanna feel abandoned on her bday. ( mother told her when I announced wedding that all extra money will be towards assisting me and my plans. Keep in mind we’re not well off money wise everything is worked and saved for) 

So am I wrong for being angry? 

Any advice on how to move forward?

banana468

knottie845afbaa99fc29b3 said:

My wedding will be taking place in the fall and my sister (MOH) recently found out she’s pregnant and based off of the dates she will give birth a month before my wedding? Am I wrong for being upset?…

BUT, before you judge here the details behind the situation. My sister is 3 months into this “relationship” with the father of child I use quotation marks due it being a drama relationship and have already broken up my then a few times . I asked her in the beginning to be safe to avoid getting pregnant because it’s not a good time cause of the year ahead. To note this is not her first pregnancy either. I’ve expressed my disappointment not only for her timing but her personal life well needs to be in order. She is also a year older than me so this isn’t reckless young behavior we’re in our late 20’s . Lastly when first announcing my wedding/her agreeing to be my MOH she promised to celebrate/have a bachelorette party for me but for obvious reasons now that won’t be happening. I’ve expressed my frustration in text first giving her well wishes and a safe pregnancy but expressed my frustration. She never replied but still walks around me like nothing happened. 

To add salt to wound she’s demanding my mother to celebrate her upcoming birthday with a vacation out of the country. Cause she doesn’t wanna feel abandoned on her bday. ( mother told her when I announced wedding that all extra money will be towards assisting me and my plans. Keep in mind we’re not well off money wise everything is worked and saved for) 

So am I wrong for being angry? 

Any advice on how to move forward?

Well, there's a lot to unpack here.

To be upset with your sister because she's pregnant and that affects your wedding?  Yeah - that's totally out of line.  Life happens.  If you set up the expectation that people are putting their life on hold and making grandiose plans for you months in advance with nothing for themselves it's a set up for disappointment at best and delusional at worst.

If your sister has a history of making bad decisions, she wasn't going to start making good ones because you're getting married. 

She doesn't get to make demands either though.  Instead I'd proceed with everything that's she's your MOH.  If you get a pre-wedding party that's great.  If you don't, that's also OK.  They aren't required.

What I'd do to move forward: don't plan on your sister as an involved person other than her duties the day of and know that  she's likely not going to be all that present if she's attending to her baby that day.  You can be disappointed but she likely didn't get pregnant AT you and if she did that's one heck of a way to proceed when a human being is the result of her desire for attention while you get married.   

knottie845afbaa99fc29b3

Forgot to add this in original story but she had let me know in a text when she did tell me she was pregnant that she originally wanted to get pregnant after my wedding but that she was trying in general to conceive but didn’t think it would take.

but your right I needed a unbiased opinion cause I didn’t wanna sound crazy if I showed I was publicly upset. So I’ve been doing best to hold it in. I think I just need to not hold high expectations for certain family members. But in the back of my head i worry if she rushed to get pregnant for the attention purposely but hopefully not.

banana468

In all honesty I'd be far more concerned for your sister and her choices vs. how they affect your wedding.  Leave the wedding out of it because that's where you can come across as selfish.  Instead be there for her as for who she is.  Tell her the time and the place of the wedding and what to wear and let that be it.  Talk to someone else who has acted interested in the rest of the wedding planning.