Leave, and have your H give you the important updates.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

Can I leave my husband’s family’s group chat without being labeled a brat? Before we went on a group trip this summer, a chat was started between his parents, his sister, her boyfriend, his brother, my husband and me. It stayed live since then. I am not exaggerating when I say there are at least 200 texts sent in the chat every day, ranging from mundane discussions about what was for breakfast to incredibly important information/decisions that need to be shared. While everyone else has pretty flexible jobs where phone use is allowed (or are retired in the case of the parents), I can access my phone for 30 minutes at lunch and then at the end of the day. I don’t even try to go back through the conversations that have happened because it would take my whole lunch. I have the conversation muted and generally just erased, but it’s still just annoying to go check my phone after four hours away and have 126 missed messages. Can I leave the chat or do I need to just keep muting/erasing? If I can leave, do I specifically address it and say I’m leaving since I can never keep up anyway or do I just ghost and never bring it up if they don’t?

—I’ve Got (Way Too Much) Mail

banana468

Leave the chat.  If they ask then be clear that you love their family dynamic but you do not have the bandwidth to keep up and you're grateful for a DH that will fill you in.

Casadena

omg i hate my IL group chat so much. but it would be A. BIG. THING. if i left the group. I just skim and ignore/mute and let H deal with anything needed. 

mrsconn23

I really think LW should ask their H how big of a deal it would be if they left the group chat. 

If it would be a BFD, then keep muting it and scroll past it to your BFF's text.  If anyone asks why LW doesn't say much, they can blame their work schedule and be all, "If anything major goes down, it's on H to let me know since I'm so limited during the day!"  

If he think it's not a big deal, then leave.  If they get 'called' on it, again blame the work schedule.  "Oh man, I tried to hang in there and work just doesn't allow me time. I didn't want to have constant FOMO from the fun you're having.  H keeps me in the loop on the highlights or important stuff. If you really need to tell me something, send me a separate text." 

I try to understand the hand-wringing about too many texts, but they're also not a summons.  Also, dear god, turn off read receipts if you have them on. 

short+sassy

I also think this is one of those "it depends".  If you would be a huge kerfluffle...emphasis on huge...and lots of hurt feelings, the LW should just continue what they are doing.

But if no one will be hurt or even mildly hurt but will quickly get over it, then leave the chat.  Because I would find that a daily annoyance also.

Slight tangent:

I already send out "death ray thoughts" to anyone that sends me an unsolicited text or call, because I already find texts/calls more intrusive than they actually are.

The harassing politics-themed intrusions are already starting.

STARMOON44

Just leave. If anyone asks “love y’all but the volume was way too much for me”

CharmedPam

I’m with LW on leaving.  Even muting texts give you that notification on the chat icon right? I’m OCD and all notifications get taken care of on my phone. When my mom gives me her phone she has all the little numbers on the right of the icon indicating notifications and it annoys me to no end.