Dear Prudence,
I ended a relationship a decade ago with a man I truly loved because of the baggage of his first marriage. His ex had an ax to grind and didn’t care if their two kids got caught in the middle. She played mind games about how their dad was going to “replace” them with the new babies he was going to make with me (I don’t want kids and can’t have them), would promise them all kinds of craziness (and blame their dad when it didn’t materialize), and trashed any gifts the kids got from us. The oldest was only 10 and seeing two separate therapists because of the stress they were under.
I loved him, but the situation was not survivable. He recently reached out to me. Both his kids are in college now, and he wants to make another go of it. He tells me that his kids both encouraged him to do so and that his ex has mellowed out since her remarriage. Am I crazy for wanting to give this a second try, or am I just setting myself up for another round of madness?
—Second Time Around