How to send invite once a friend has passed

vzoccali

I was hoping someone has advice for how to handle this situation. One of my friends passed away suddenly right after receiving my Save the Date (about 6 months ago). I am getting ready to send out the invitations and wondering what to do now. He and his wife were invited, but I don’t really know the wife. I only met her in passing once before his funeral. I don’t know what the proper etiquette is. Do I send an invite to her with an additional note that there is totally no obligation or expectation? I don’t want to make it seem like she should send a wedding gift or anything in any way. Or maybe just send the invitation card that has the place/date without the additional RSVP and detail cards? Or does it make more sense not to send anything? Thanks in advance for your help!

MyNameIsNot

If you're not friends with her, I would not send anything at all. 6 months after loosing her husband, she's probably still heavily grieving while also trying to find her new normal. A wedding invitation for someone she barely knows will either be a painful reminder or come off callous or like you're looking for a gift. 

It would be totally different if you'd had a relationship with her while he was alive, but with only having met her once, you're essentially a stranger to her. 

ILoveBeachMusic

I agree with @MyNameIsNot. This is an incidence where you don't have to send an invite to someone you sent a save the date. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

vzoccali

Thank you for your feedback! I am taking your advice

MesmrEwe

IMO a lot depends on the circumstances of the passing.  I would err on the side of invite her anyway.  Invite her with the no obligation/expectation - Yes, it's still fresh, but so is the isolation because 6mo is about the time that people stop calling and the widow/er realizes as much.  Being invited anyway, she can always choose not to attend/decline.  If they were important enough to get a Save the Date, she's still important enough to send an invite without fear of offense.  

Jen4948

I'm so sorry for your friend's loss. I think I would contact the wife and see how she's doing, and go from there. If she seems able to talk about your wedding, you can bring it up and see if she's interested in coming, and if so, follow up with an invitation. If you are okay with inviting her with a plus one and she indicates that she's okay with this, you can do so.