I don't think this is for a check-in text, but maybe a phone call or in person thing.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

One of my friends, who is trans and non-binary, moved away last year to take care of an aging family. The state they moved to has been in the news a lot recently for violence against trans people. I want to check in on them but I’m a cis straight woman raised in the evangelical church and I have no idea what to say. I left the church but a lot of this language or ideas don’t come naturally to me. Our friendship was built through a shared hobby and shared interests so we have not spent a lot of time talking about identity. What’s the right way to do this? We’ve remained in touch and see each other a couple times a year, but this feels like something I don’t know how to talk about. I want them to feel and be safe, and I know that’s probably not the case right now.

—How to Ask

VarunaTT

I'm seriously worried that my empathy button is broken.

Literally none of this identity matters for this situation, it's a friend and you're worried about them.  Just send the text, "Hey, I just wanted to check in on you and see how you are.  Thinking about you and would love to hear from you when you have a moment".  Voila.

It doesn't sound like this friendship is on the level that LW needs to get into their friend's identity and LW's fears surrounding that unless friend leads the way into that.

banana468

"How are you?  It's been a lot for you to have to move and the news reports from X state are concerning.  Just checking in and I'm an ear if you need to talk."

How hard is that to do?? 

levioosa

"hey! I haven't heard from you in awhile! I miss catching up. How have you been?"

short+sassy

SIB:

Just check in on them?  Haven't they been since the LW said they are still in touch?

A way to ask about the area if they aren't comfortable bringing up something heavy is, "How are you liking (city, state?"

On a bit of that subject, Louisiana which is generally a hard core Republican place, but has actually had a Democratic governor for a long time.  Conservative Democrat, but still.  He protected LGBTQ rights and Louisiana retained a slice of humanity in that regard compared to our nearby states like TX and FL.  But he lost in the election last year and now we have a hard core Republican governor.

I was reading all these bills a couple weeks ago that are coming up for vote in the state Senate.  So much WTF.  Unions have a big target on their back.  There were about 4 bills related to making them impossible to form and even tearing apart some of the current ones that are associated with the government and school districts.

For LGBTQ issues, it was officially declaring there are only two gender choices.  I assume that would pertain to government forms and that kind of thing.  And teachers need to get written permission from a student's parents if they want to use pronouns that differ from their biological gender.  Those were two different bills.

And everyone's favorite.  Reducing child labor law protections.  Working children who are under 18 are entitled to a meal break.  This bill wants to remove that.  Really?  Are kids having an unpaid break to eat while they are working actually such a drain on our economy that we need a bill about it?  Is this REALLY such a hot button issue that some politician actually spent their time to write a bill about it?

I bet that guy is also sad Louisiana doesn't have coal mines to send the elementary school kids to during summer breaks.

VarunaTT

I am very shocked at how many child labor laws are under attack and people really aren't informed about it.  Nearly every state under hardline conservatives are.

They're union busting.

Stripping public schools.

They're trying to shove us back into 1920s and 30s era labor styles.  

They seem to forget that those came to and end because people died, on both sides.

short+sassy

VarunaTT said:

I am very shocked at how many child labor laws are under attack and people really aren't informed about it.  Nearly every state under hardline conservatives are.

They're union busting.

Stripping public schools.

They're trying to shove us back into 1920s and 30s era labor styles.  

They seem to forget that those came to and end because people died, on both sides.

You'd think protecting children in the work force is something we can all agree on, no matter what party affiliation someone is.

But just like the "controversial topic" of making sure children are fed at least a school lunch in the summer, I am wrong again about what all human beings can agree on.

CharmedPam

I’m a 100% lean towards a text person.  I don’t remember the last time I called a friend to just chat. Lol.  But a simple hey what’s up let’s meet soon doesn’t seem out of the ordinary in this relationship?