Maid of Honor

homrockyj

Resolved and deleted for privacy.

CharmedPam

Can I get some clarity?  You booked a room for you and her for the night before/ day of as a girls thing to get ready and all that - and that’s fine - but she asked if her fiancé could stay in the same room as you two?  Or do you have separate rooms and you meant to say he asked to stay at the same hotel as you two…

homrockyj

he wants to stay in the same room with us. He is also 40s and we are in our 20s. Just felt like I got put in a hard spot. 

CharmedPam

You did.  I get it because I’m sooooo not good on the spot either but I would have said something like “actually my husband to be wouldn’t like it. Can he get his own room?”.  In my opinion, it’s not too late to say something like that but I’m side eyeing her for even suggesting it…

homrockyj

thank you for the honesty and kindness. The last thing I want was someone hurt. Just having issues with even her just communicating with me. I feel like we have drifted and it makes me sad a couple months away from the wedding. 

MobKaz

homrockyj said:

Hello All,

I have been close friends with this one female. Friends with her for about six years. We probably have hung out in person a total of three times. I am always asking to get together. We live about two hours apart. I have offered to meet her at her place many times so she does not have to drive. I had asked her to be my maid of honor. No planning from her was needed- don’t want a bachelorette party or anything. Just someone to be with the night before and morning of. We used to text all the time and now we barely do. The wedding is in July! Only couple months away. She asked if her now fiancé could stay with us in the hotel room I booked the night before the wedding. I have never met him. I’m nice and said yes. I am afraid I asked the wrong person. Can I get some help here? 

I think it is important to reply quickly and honestly.  Tell her you were caught off guard by her request.  Now that you have had time to think it through, simply tell her you are not comfortable sharing a room with a man you do not know.  

You can always state that you would understand if they wanted to share their own room, but that you hope she and you can still share some girl time the night before and the morning of the wedding.  That was your original intent of the invitation.  With her fiancé now in this equation, you need to determine whether your hope for the evening and morning of your wedding will still occur, or whether she will now want to spend those hours with her fiancé.

homrockyj

I appreciate this! I was mad at myself I said yes right away. But I agree having time thinking about this. If she is a friend I hope she would understand. Thank you for this response!