Dear Prudence,
I’ve been divorced from my ex-husband for nearly 10 years now, much longer than we were married. I feel happy and confident in my choice. Even periods when I’m single are happier than being married to someone pushy and selfish. But every time I visit my parents, they fantasize about us getting back together. This includes awkward family dinners where he’s invited unannounced and lots of teary complaints from my mom about wanting more grandkids. The one time I introduced a serious boyfriend to my parents, he was negatively compared with my ex and treated coldly. I now keep my dating life separate. My sisters are married to guys my parents like and don’t see the problem. My ex is on his third divorce now, and during his single periods he does seem to always think we’ll get back together. I’ve been polite but clear that I’m not interested.
I’ve mostly dealt with this whole thing by minimizing in-person visits to my parents and hanging up the phone every time the conversation touches the topic. It does seem to have trained my parents for virtual communication, but they’re still like this in person. My mom is about to have surgery, and my dad isn’t strong enough to provide physical care right now. As the only sibling without kids, I need to go down there for a month during her earliest recovery, and I don’t know how to plan for success. What should I be doing to minimize drama with my parents before I go?
—Happy Without Him