Wedding Woes

It hurts, but you're not wrong. Keep your boundaries.

Dear Prudence,

I am a stay-at-home mom. I was taking care of my toddler nephew and his two older half-brothers for my brother and his girlfriend until I caught her stealing medication and money from us. Since then, we have banned her from our home and take care of my nephew only when my brother brings him over. My brother broke up with his girlfriend but keeps pestering me to continue to take on all three boys because his girlfriend can’t work and watch them. She might be forced to move out of state, and he would lose his son. I told him we would help him find a lawyer if he wanted to get primary custody but that the woman is never entering my home again. This is splintering my relationship with him. Our parents died when we were young, so we’ve had only each other for a long time. My husband doesn’t even want to take my nephew anymore. Help!

—Boundary and the Baby

Re: It hurts, but you're not wrong. Keep your boundaries.

  • Free daycare and offering to pay for a lawyer is more than generous. The brother needs to realize how good he has it and file for custody (even if it’s shared). Neither of you are responsible for the girlfriend finding work, or caring for her children, especially after she stole from you. 
  • Man, brother is entitled. 

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