Wedding Woes

You don't have to tell anyone.

Dear Prudence,

I am a British man of West African extraction, living in the eastern United States. I am reasonably educated and not impoverished. I work for a mid-sized regional law firm. I lived a pretty unremarkable life until about a year ago, when my Nigerian father died. As my mother was already dead and I was an only child, it fell to me to set the estate to rest. As I was doing so, I discovered something uniquely hilarious. I know this sounds remarkable, but as it turns out, I am in fact a Nigerian prince by birthright, though nobody in my family has held any true title to nobility for several generations.

It gets worse: My family fortune is lying unclaimed in a bank in Zurich, under sanction dating to a 40-year-old diplomatic dispute involving smuggling diamonds and a coup-d’état. Not that this pertains to my problem at all—I don’t want the money nor could I get it if I did. No, my problem is that my life is now an ironic spam email; my ethnic and familial identity is reduced to a stale meme. I have not told anyone in my personal or work circles about this development in part because of my fear that I will not be believed, or will become the butt of jokes. It is already hard enough being a Black bloke with a heavy British accent in America. And yet I don’t know how to process this newly-revealed disclosure into my personal background. I asked my therapist, who did not believe that I was serious until I provided written documentation to substantiate my claims. This is exactly indicative of the problem.

—Reluctant Scam Prince

Re: You don't have to tell anyone.

  • If true- I’d try and get the money and a new therapist. 

    But yah you’d not actually have to tell anyone anything. 
  • I mean, it could be true...but I'm erring on the side of there's a reason the therapist doesn't believe the patient and I don't believe it either. I also have no idea how this would ever even be relevant in a conversation. H and I have joked that if we ever came into a large sum of money, mum's the word. 

  • I’m sorry, I missed that part of your relationship staus.  Soooooo single or not single?
    asking for a friend.

  • You know it's bad when even your therapist doesn't believe you, lol.

    But he's making a mountain out of a molehill.  There is no reason to ever bring this up in conversation, if he doesn't want to.

    So is his real question HOW do I bring this up in conversation so people believe me because it's interesting and hilarious?

    A family friend (M) has a crazy royalty story.  She is an American, but came from a very wealthy family.  She's in her 70s now, so this was about 60 years ago.  She was sent to a Swiss boarding school for high school.  Her roommate was a Romanov!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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