Wedding Woes

Do not try to play fixer-upper-matchmaker for your brother.

Dear Prudence,

My brother is a 38-year-old, heterosexual male who has never dated. He is very private so trying to discuss this in person is difficult. He is discouraged or too shy to put himself out there. He has so many wonderful traits—he’s a helpful friend, takes care of our aging parents, and is great with kids, handy around the house, athletic, and in great shape! However, he is on the shorter side and works a less glamorous blue-collar job so some of the superficial filters women tend to use on dating sites would overlook him. I am sad to think he might miss out on finding a life partner or becoming a father. He would be an absolute steal for a single mom looking to date! I would like to send a genuine offer to help via email (less confrontational). What advice would you give him?

—Hopeful Sister

Re: Do not try to play fixer-upper-matchmaker for your brother.

  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Definitely stay out of it.  If he wants to date he will. And if he doesn’t know where to start and wants your help, he’ll ask. 
  • Has the brother ever complained about being alone and having trouble finding someone?  If not, then the LW needs to MOB.  Not everyone desires having a romantic partner.  Has he ever even said he wants to be a father?  Why do so many people assume everyone wants to be a parent?

    Him "being very private and not discussing it" might be because he doesn't care or think about it.

    If he ever does complain, that's the opportunity to offer their help.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I absolutely believe LW's brother is gay or some other form of non-hetero, LW is in denial, should leave brother alone, and accept her brother as he is.  LW has absolutely projected everything on him...we know nothing about what LW's brother actually wants, just what she thinks he wants.

    I wouldn't give him any advice, just make sure my home was a safe space for someone I loved.
  • It’s not like the brother doesn’t know dating is an option. If he wanted to he would. And if he wanted your help he would ask for it. 
  • Give him an application for “love is blind”

  • VarunaTT said:
    I absolutely believe LW's brother is gay or some other form of non-hetero, LW is in denial, should leave brother alone, and accept her brother as he is.  LW has absolutely projected everything on him...we know nothing about what LW's brother actually wants, just what she thinks he wants.

    I wouldn't give him any advice, just make sure my home was a safe space for someone I loved.
    I was about to say this. Brother is gay or asexual or some other part of the LGBTQIA community. This letter almost describes my cousin to a T. His sexuality is noooone of my business unless he chooses to disclose it. And I don't think he will until the family boomers (and parents) are dead and gone for obvious reasons. He may even have a secret life that none of us know about. I'm a little curious of course but I don't care and it's not on me to pry. LW needs to chill tf out. 


    image
  • How does LW intend to help?! Unclear time what she thinks she can even do. 
  • How do you know your brother even wants to date? Leave this alone unless he asks you for advice.
    image
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards