Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal Shower Help

Please help. 
My fiancés mother wanted to throw me a bridal shower. My mom passed 2 years ago to cancer. I was happy she wanted to, I felt honoured. Maybe I didn’t show it; it’s all hard without my mom the wedding seems sad. Hard to enjoy fully I think always imagine my mom there. My dad and I don’t speak sadly. 

I had a tough conversation with his mom while we were shopping for things for our house (we just got a house). I said some things about a fight I had with her son. I shouldn’t have and apologized after. She said no mother wants to be caught in the middle. I felt terrible and called to re-apologize. 

At his sisters birthday party 2 weeks ago his aunties said they were throwing it. I mentioned his mom wanted to and she said we already talk to her. I felt awful, it felt like she didn’t want to do it anymore. I overheard his mom ask her sister if she told me. She said yeah I told her. 

It makes me feel so off. I don’t want a party at all it feels so forced. It’s why I didn’t want a big wedding, never had. I’m terrible with people and always feel like I don’t fit in. Easier to disappear in the background. When she initially offered I felt like part of the family and now it’s clear she wants to have no part in it. 

I told my fiancé how hurt I was. That I don’t want to have the party. It feel so weird to not have it at her house. I barely know the extended families only met them a handful of times over the years. 

I feel so awful about it all. I wish she never offered if she couldn’t follow through, it feels so petty. I feel like I’m being a baby. She even said things like they’re my family now and she can be like a mother to me. It’s just sitting so terrible with me. 

I wish she talked to me. It’s so obvious she wanted out and I can only imagine what she said to her sisters. I feel like I don’t belong. 

I cried half the day when it happen. My finance was upset and wanted to say something I asked him not too. He promised to say nothing. I do want to message his aunt and say not to throw it, I just wanted to wait till I wasn’t as upset incase they call. 

I now don’t even want a wedding. If feels like a waste of money I was only doing for his parents. So they could be proud of their son. Now I just feel empty. 

I haven’t told any of my friends. I’m just so confused how to react. I told my fiancé and he said we can do whatever I want. I’m at the point where I’m feeling like screw everybody and he and I just go on a trip. This doesn’t feel like a family that I want to be a part of, I don’t know how to feel special when she doesn’t like me. He even said he doesn’t like the way she’s talks about me. Things I won’t get into, it just not kind stuff. 

Any help or kind works please. 

Sad Bride to be 

Re: Bridal Shower Help

  • Please help. 
    My fiancés mother wanted to throw me a bridal shower. My mom passed 2 years ago to cancer. I was happy she wanted to, I felt honoured. Maybe I didn’t show it; it’s all hard without my mom the wedding seems sad. Hard to enjoy fully I think always imagine my mom there. My dad and I don’t speak sadly. 

    I had a tough conversation with his mom while we were shopping for things for our house (we just got a house). I said some things about a fight I had with her son. I shouldn’t have and apologized after. She said no mother wants to be caught in the middle. I felt terrible and called to re-apologize. 

    At his sisters birthday party 2 weeks ago his aunties said they were throwing it. I mentioned his mom wanted to and she said we already talk to her. I felt awful, it felt like she didn’t want to do it anymore. I overheard his mom ask her sister if she told me. She said yeah I told her. 

    It makes me feel so off. I don’t want a party at all it feels so forced. It’s why I didn’t want a big wedding, never had. I’m terrible with people and always feel like I don’t fit in. Easier to disappear in the background. When she initially offered I felt like part of the family and now it’s clear she wants to have no part in it. 

    I told my fiancé how hurt I was. That I don’t want to have the party. It feel so weird to not have it at her house. I barely know the extended families only met them a handful of times over the years. 

    I feel so awful about it all. I wish she never offered if she couldn’t follow through, it feels so petty. I feel like I’m being a baby. She even said things like they’re my family now and she can be like a mother to me. It’s just sitting so terrible with me. 

    I wish she talked to me. It’s so obvious she wanted out and I can only imagine what she said to her sisters. I feel like I don’t belong. 

    I cried half the day when it happen. My finance was upset and wanted to say something I asked him not too. He promised to say nothing. I do want to message his aunt and say not to throw it, I just wanted to wait till I wasn’t as upset incase they call. 

    I now don’t even want a wedding. If feels like a waste of money I was only doing for his parents. So they could be proud of their son. Now I just feel empty. 

    I haven’t told any of my friends. I’m just so confused how to react. I told my fiancé and he said we can do whatever I want. I’m at the point where I’m feeling like screw everybody and he and I just go on a trip. This doesn’t feel like a family that I want to be a part of, I don’t know how to feel special when she doesn’t like me. He even said he doesn’t like the way she’s talks about me. Things I won’t get into, it just not kind stuff. 

    Any help or kind works please. 

    Sad Bride to be 

    There’s a lot here. First I’m sorry you’re going through wedding planning without your mom, that must be really hard. 

    It’s a bit hard to follow but from what I understand, she offered a party and you accepted, then you said something about your FI to her you probably shouldn’t have and she was upset. Then his aunts said they were hosting? Could it be that they’re just helping her out and they’re all planning to host it together? I guess I’m not sure why this part is upsetting? It’s common for people a few people to host/throw the party together. 

    I don’t totally understand what you overheard her saying about you but is it just that they’re helping yo throw the shower? 

    Unless what you heard was her saying she doesn’t want to throw a party anymore or something else bad about you it sounds like you’re making a lot of assumptions about how she feels about you and you’re letting it upset you significantly. From what you’ve said here it doesn’t sound like anything has happened that is so bad that would warrant going no contact with her or the family. So burning everything down by canceling the wedding or eloping is probably not realistic. 




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