Pre-wedding Parties
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Am I overreacting?

My best friend is getting married for the 3rd time. She has never had a bachelorette party so I decided I would throw her one. She is having a tiny wedding so there is only a MOH and best man in the wedding party. I'm the MOH. She gave me a list of friends/co-workers to invite to the bach party. The party was scheduled months in advance and 4 hours from home. I created an itinerary for the weekend. Each person paid almost 200.00 for the entire weekend. That covered the cost of the house, painting, concert ticket and what remained we gave to the bride for spending money over the weekend. Everyone besides two of us, the MOH and my other best friend, arrived 4 hours early to make sure all the decorating was done before the guest arrived at the house. Remind you it cost me an extra 65.00 to check into the house early. Everyone was supposed to arrive at 4:00 pm. A little after 4:00, I call the bride and she tells me she is still 2 hours away. I messaged other guest and asked for their ETA's nothing but crickets. Around 6:00, everyone arrives at the house. We had a painting reservation for 6:00 pm. We had two hours of activities before painting so we could do welcome bags and introduce each other because a lot of us didn't know each other. We had to rush out the door and was late to the place I had made the painting reservation. We paint and go back to the house and by then it's 9:00 pm and everyone besides like four of us wants to go to a club that is about an hour away. I began the games that were on the itinerary and after about three of them, I could tell they were over it. They all leave, including the bride-to-be to go to the club. They all come in at 4:00 am., remind you, our day is to start at 9:00 the next morning. They didn't get up until 9:00 and out the door by 10:00 so we missed our breakfast reservation. The plan until 2:00 was to shop and visit the historical place we were visiting. They complained the entire time about being tired and how expensive stuff was at the stores. It was ok when they wanted to spend almost 200.00 the night before on a Uber to get to the club. We ended up leaving early to go back to the house to get ready for our night out. We went to dinner and of course, just about everyone complained about the price. Remind you, all of the guests have amazing careers and make a lot of money, probably 3 times the amount that I do. I had to save a lot to make this weekend happen.  After dinner, we went out and all they did was sit around on their phones and look like they were about to fall asleep. The bride-to-be was having a good time but decided we could just go back to the house and have fun since everyone was tired. All of her people went upstairs and never came back down. I went to bed because I was just done at this point. I had planned to cook everyone breakfast before departing on Sunday at 10:00 but most of them got up and left before then. I got not a single thank you, need help with anything, nothing at all. I spent about 1000.00 for the weekend not including my 200.00 for the house etc. I made t-shirts, purchased food, decorations, etc. I'm upset about the weekend because I feel very disrespected not only by most of the guests but also the bride-to-be. How would you handle the conversation with the bride-to-be about how I'm feeling? 

Re: Am I overreacting?

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    My best friend is getting married for the 3rd time. She has never had a bachelorette party so I decided I would throw her one. She is having a tiny wedding so there is only a MOH and best man in the wedding party. I'm the MOH. She gave me a list of friends/co-workers to invite to the bach party. The party was scheduled months in advance and 4 hours from home. I created an itinerary for the weekend. Each person paid almost 200.00 for the entire weekend. That covered the cost of the house, painting, concert ticket and what remained we gave to the bride for spending money over the weekend. Everyone besides two of us, the MOH and my other best friend, arrived 4 hours early to make sure all the decorating was done before the guest arrived at the house. Remind you it cost me an extra 65.00 to check into the house early. Everyone was supposed to arrive at 4:00 pm. A little after 4:00, I call the bride and she tells me she is still 2 hours away. I messaged other guest and asked for their ETA's nothing but crickets. Around 6:00, everyone arrives at the house. We had a painting reservation for 6:00 pm. We had two hours of activities before painting so we could do welcome bags and introduce each other because a lot of us didn't know each other. We had to rush out the door and was late to the place I had made the painting reservation. We paint and go back to the house and by then it's 9:00 pm and everyone besides like four of us wants to go to a club that is about an hour away. I began the games that were on the itinerary and after about three of them, I could tell they were over it. They all leave, including the bride-to-be to go to the club. They all come in at 4:00 am., remind you, our day is to start at 9:00 the next morning. They didn't get up until 9:00 and out the door by 10:00 so we missed our breakfast reservation. The plan until 2:00 was to shop and visit the historical place we were visiting. They complained the entire time about being tired and how expensive stuff was at the stores. It was ok when they wanted to spend almost 200.00 the night before on a Uber to get to the club. We ended up leaving early to go back to the house to get ready for our night out. We went to dinner and of course, just about everyone complained about the price. Remind you, all of the guests have amazing careers and make a lot of money, probably 3 times the amount that I do. I had to save a lot to make this weekend happen.  After dinner, we went out and all they did was sit around on their phones and look like they were about to fall asleep. The bride-to-be was having a good time but decided we could just go back to the house and have fun since everyone was tired. All of her people went upstairs and never came back down. I went to bed because I was just done at this point. I had planned to cook everyone breakfast before departing on Sunday at 10:00 but most of them got up and left before then. I got not a single thank you, need help with anything, nothing at all. I spent about 1000.00 for the weekend not including my 200.00 for the house etc. I made t-shirts, purchased food, decorations, etc. I'm upset about the weekend because I feel very disrespected not only by most of the guests but also the bride-to-be. How would you handle the conversation with the bride-to-be about how I'm feeling? 
    It sounds like there was a lack of communication here on the front end, and your idea of a perfect weekend was very different to what others wanted. For the guests, they paid their own way, none of them owe you any thanks. 

    The bride should have thanked you for organizing the trip. As far as how to discuss with her (or whether you should), are you sure this is the weekend she wanted? It sounds like you decided to organize a weekend with painting, an early brunch and an expensive dinner, but it doesn't sound like those were things she wanted. If you did plan something without consulting her for the activities she'd like to do, you can approach it as an opportunity to clear the air and work on better communication going forward. But if these are the activities that she said she wanted you to plan and then she seemed uninterested once other friends were less than excited, you can approach that your feelings were hurt when it seemed like she chose other friends' preferences over what she'd told you she wanted to do, and see what she says. 
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    Everyone put in their ideas of what to do during the weekend. The bride was also asked on things she would like to do. They asked for the itinerary because a few months before, the same group had a bach party and it ended up being a mess. I communicated very well. I honestly think its just a generation age gap issue. I know my best friend and if my friends or myself had left the party she had planned, she would be so mad at me. Thank you for the reply and good conversation topics.
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    I agree this seems like a lot of miscommunication.

    From what I'm reading it seems like there are two things that stick out:
    -The activities planned vs. what was done.  Was everyone on board with the plans or were they told what they would be?  
    -Is this two different groups of people getting together? 

    I think you have a right to be disappointed but without knowing more it's hard to say if this could have been avoided. 
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