Dear Prudence,
I live in an apartment with a roommate, Sara, and my cat, Ravioli. We’ve all lived together for two and a half years without any issues. But Sara’s boyfriend of six months, Tom, is being a jerk to my cat, and I’m sick of it.
Tom dislikes cats (which is fine) but he’s extremely vocal about it, which gets tiresome for me. Tom sees some hair on the couch? “F***in’ cat.” Hears Ravioli meow as I open his wet food? “Oh my God, shut up.” Sees him walk toward his (frequently cleaned) litter box? “Ugh, disgusting.” He doesn’t have allergies, and it’s not a cleanliness thing because he likes dogs fine. It’s incredibly annoying. I occasionally respond with something like “Yes, Tom, the cat that lives here is being a cat, just like always,” but he takes that as an invitation to complain more.
Ravioli is sweet and friendly and likes to be around people. He likes to sit in laps, but if you tell him “down” (I clicker trained him!) or nudge him off you or have someone else call him over, he’ll leave right away. But Tom objects to having the cat near him at all in common areas—he wants to make him go away when he’s just curled up on the other side of the couch, or on a kitchen chair, or next to the TV. When I’m around, I say to leave him alone because he’s not bothering anyone. But I assume when I’m out, Tom is ousting him from his favorite lounge spots for no reason.
Last week, Tom pushed Ravioli out of a spot on the couch that he wanted, but Rav returned when he went to the kitchen. Instead of just moving him again, Tom splashed him with water from his glass. I said, “What the hell is wrong with you? Don’t ever do that again!” and Tom was defensive. Sara backed me up about it not being OK. But when I talked to her later and expressed my frustration with how Tom acts toward my cat in general, she said the comments and making him move weren’t a big deal because they don’t bother Ravioli. They’ve only hung out at his place instead of ours since it happened, which I appreciate, but Sara has mentioned him starting to come over again. I feel like I’m going to flip out on him if he so much as speaks to my cat again let alone touches him.
Keeping Rav in my room while Tom’s over seems unfair, because he’s over quite a bit. Why should he have to be cooped up because someone who doesn’t pay rent doesn’t want to look at him? I’d also have to move his food and the litter box into my bedroom. How do I proceed? The lease is up in September and I’ll move if I need to, but I’d rather not, and I still need ideas for how to handle things until then.
—Ravioli’s Human