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Your sister has a very odd POV

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
in Wedding Woes

Dear Prudence,

My adult sister has been dating a man for about three years. I’ve met him twice, largely because I moved out of state a little after they started dating. I moved back in September. I got her boyfriend a gift certificate for Christmas and she responded that it was inappropriate to buy a gift for him and that I was further wrong for “crossing boundaries”. She’s never informed me of this “boundary, ”and when I brought this up she mentioned that it was “common practice” and known to be poor taste (to give a gift to your sister’s significant other). What does etiquette have to say about this situation?

—Befuddled Gift Giver

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Re: Your sister has a very odd POV

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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Your sister is weird and is either gaslighting you in some odd attempt to control or she's somehow brainwashed to think that women are somehow incapable of giving gifts to the opposite sex in a platonic way.  

    This is your sister's problem so just don't give the guy a gift.  Meanwhile start to peel back the onion and figure out if this is just one quirk or if your sister has more issues. 
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    charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    This is weird. If he’s someone special to her it’s not weird to give a gift. 

    However if she doesn’t want that then respect it and skip the gift card next Christmas. But if he writes a letter to Prudie about how his GF’s family hates him because they stopped giving gifts someone needs to tell him it was the sister. 
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    CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Unless the gift card was to Lovers Lane, chillax sister. 

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    levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    This reminds me of the time SIL A bought BIL B's wife one of those Bath and Body Works gift sets. SIL B told her that it was way too personal of a gift and she was uncomfortable. We still joke about it to this day and it's been ten years. Too personal? A BBW gift sets is like one of the most common and impersonal gifts you can get someone lol. 


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    short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited May 3
    Etiquette says your sister is a weirdo and way off-base.  But now the LW knows she has this weird boundary and shouldn't give him any gifts, going forward.

    It's like you can't win, even when you are being really nice to someone!
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