You should have called-off the wedding.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I’ve been married for a year and a half and need help determining if it’s time to cut my losses and divorce. My marriage has not been what I thought it would be, by any stretch. My husband and I fought all the time in the lead-up to our wedding (grappling with insomnia, a family estrangement, financial challenges, etc.). I’d hoped things would get better after the wedding—we enjoyed periods of consistent joy earlier in our relationship and I was excited to get back to that—only that consistency has never returned. We’ve had some good days, and what feels like far more bad days. We still fight all the time. He’s been laid off twice since our wedding, unemployed for more than half of the time we’ve been married. His resulting self-esteem crisis has left me in a marriage that feels like it’s hanging on by a thread.

I just want to consistently feel loved and supported, and while I know my husband does love and care for me, his inability to bring his best self to our marriage with any degree of consistency has been devastating. I feel alone. I know he’s trying to do better—he’s in therapy, has expressed how much he wants to show up for me, etc.—but I’m tired of being unhappy. I can’t stand the thought of waking up to another day of unhappiness. To add complexity, I’m nearing the age where I need to have children if I ever want to have them. I still love my husband and ideally want to have children with him, but I can’t imagine taking that next step with him when we haven’t even had the chance to enjoy our marriage, just the two of us.
What should I do?

—Running Out of Hope

banana468

Cut your losses if he can't be there for you.  It honestly sounds like you two were having problems once you exited the honeymoon phase of your courtship and now you're not compatible.  You can still care for him and know that the marriage should be terminated and possibly even annulled. 

STARMOON44

Get out now before you’re trapped with an unemployed man who also won’t take care of your kids who now you owe alimony to. 

MyNameIsNot

So you thought marriage would fix your relationship but it didn't. Now you want to see if a baby does the trick? 

charlotte989875

A baby will not fix this. Only you know if you’re willing to wait it out to see if therapy works. 

But given there were problems well before you were married… this might be the best it’s going to be. And it’s okay if that’s not enough. 

short+sassy

On the face of it, people who fight all the time and are unhappy sound like an obvious reason to end a relationship and even marriage.

However, I've also met people in my life where all of their relationships have looked like that.  I'm a bit suspicious the LW might be this kind of person also, which is why she didn't go running much earlier.  Because fighting a lot was "normal" for her.

He's in therapy.  But maybe she should be also or couples counseling.  They should look if constant fighting has been a common denominator in their other relationships.  If so, work on breaking that cycle.