Wedding Woes
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Send it back in a plastic bag with a post-it saying "we found these".

Dear Prudence,

My husband and I own our house while his ex lives in an apartment complex. My 8-year-old stepson spends half his time with us so his laundry adds up pretty quickly (we have our own washer and dryer while his mom uses a laundromat). His mom has always found it difficult to accept my presence, despite the fact I have been in my stepson’s life since he was a toddler. They broke up before the baby was even born, but his ex tried to win my husband back several times through increasingly desperate means (she has shown up drunk at my mother-in-law’s place screaming and crying that they were meant to be together). She seemed to calm down after our wedding two years ago, but we recently announced our pregnancy.

Now, her dirty underwear is making its way into the laundry my stepson brings home. The first time, I figured it was a mistake and tossed the thong into the trash, but by the fourth time, the pattern was clear. It is just so bizarre. I haven’t mentioned it to my husband and just keep throwing the items away. What should I do here? I mean, eventually, she is going to run out of underwear, but I worry she will start to escalate to get a reaction here. She has done so in the past and I really don’t want to deal with this during my pregnancy.

—Dirty Laundry

Re: Send it back in a plastic bag with a post-it saying "we found these".

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    banana468banana468 member
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    Stop throwing it out.  

    Tell your husband what's showing up in the laundry.  And give her a call about it, "Oh Alex I think your underwear wound up in the laundry again.  I took care of it for you and it's at the bottom of Garret's basket."   

    But if it continues start to give it back in plastic grocery bags and ask if she's concerned that her son is into women's underpants.   Play dumb so she knows that you know it's hers, know your marriage is secure and instead add that you're wanting to make sure the kid is OK. 
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    You HAVE to talk to your husband about this. 
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    CharmedPamCharmedPam member
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    Anyone else shiver while reading this?

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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    banana468 said:
    You HAVE to talk to your husband about this. 
    I can't imagine keeping that a secret!   
    Telling my husband would have been the first thing I did when I saw it in there. 
    Right!?  
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    CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    levioosa said:
    I'd be passive aggressive and send back a pair of granny panties with an add for Fluconazole. lol
    This is fantastic.

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    The LW is already reacting by throwing it away.  The ex knows she's throwing it away, which is why she keeps doing it.

    The first time it happened, I would have assumed it was an accident and washed it with the stepson's things.  If it happened a second time, then I would have mentioned it to my H.  It's weird the LW hasn't.  It's his ex, he's the one who should be dealing with her and her nonsense.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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