Wedding Woes
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The one-upping is annoying, but you can do something about her taking all the credit.

Dear Prudence,

How do I deal with a chronic “one-upper” at work? No matter what I (or my co-workers) say, she will immediately let us know we are not at her level. If I discovered an awesome obscure pizza place on the weekend, she says she eats there every night and knows the owner. If I rent a lake house for a few days, she says she always rents a 10-bedroom mansion there because her great-grandfather discovered the lake and obviously, she owns half the beach, too. If a co-worker tells a story about how they broke their arm surfing when they were a kid, she says she broke both arms surfing when she was a kid, as well as four ribs, her collarbone, and five toes.

It’s a small office—we are kind of trapped together, and I love my job and I love my co-workers, but this is driving us crazy. The other hard part is that the higher-ups LOVE her. She is extremely charming with them and always compliments them. And she is not totally horrible at her job, but she’s not great at it either. She tends to do less work than everyone else but talks herself up like she’s running the show. I have also seen her take credit for other co-workers’ work, but she is so sneaky and calculated about it that we would look like we were not being “team players” if we called her out. Would you please offer some advice to help us get through each day with this exhausting woman?

—Not Down With the One Upper

Re: The one-upping is annoying, but you can do something about her taking all the credit.

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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    "OMG I was watching SNL reruns last week and came across the episodes of when Kristen Wiig was the topper.  It was too funny!"

    I think you have to let some of that stuff go.  Don't socialize with her out of work and know that she's a transparent pathological liar.
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    levioosalevioosa member
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    This reminds me of the two 8-10 year olds I was watching once as a camp counselor. They just kept trying to one up each other about their family vacations to the point where one of the kids finally went, "yeah?! welll.....wellll....next year my dad is taking us to THE MOON." Just straight faced and serious. I had to walk away. Just like you should, LW, walk away.


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    I think you have to recognize that this comes from insecurity and reframe yourself to either laugh at her or feel sorry for her. You know no one believes she owns the beach.

    With taking the credit, find a way to document things, talk to the boss about work in progress, or backwards call her out in the moment by asking for something specific about the work that would make it obvious that she hadn't worked on it. 
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