Wedding Woes
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You asked wedding guests to clean-up at your wedding?

Dear Prudence,

After four years together, my partner and I recently tied the knot in a small, intimate family wedding. However, despite our efforts to create a joyous atmosphere, unexpected family tensions cast a shadow over our special day. Following our first dance, we invited guests to help us clear some space for dancing, but unfortunately, some misunderstood and began leaving prematurely, inadvertently signaling the end of the celebration. Despite our attempts to clarify, the damage was done, and many departed swiftly. Soon after, my husband’s father became upset and left abruptly, while his mother remained distant for the rest of the evening, leaving my husband feeling overwhelmed with guilt. This unfortunate turn of events has left us both saddened and unsure of how to navigate the aftermath. The stress of the situation, especially in light of my pregnancy, has left me reevaluating how I envision future interactions with my in-laws and how I want to raise our child within this family dynamic. My husband keeps asking if he was at fault for this? I am absolutely certain that regardless of what happened, his parents should have never acted in the way they did, but I might also be biased.

—Distressed Bride

Re: You asked wedding guests to clean-up at your wedding?

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    How did this go down exactly because it seems pretty odd if a DJ announced “we’re going to get the party started and we need to make a dance floor” that people would have taken that to mean it’s time to leave. Now if you did tell people “we need you to clean up all the tables and chairs and throw away the trash” then they’re leaving not because they think the event is over (although that does signal that too) but because they’re annoyed you’re asking them to clean up while they’re attending an event. 
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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I'm not understanding why you asked people to work the wedding or why doing so was met with their departure.

    There's more to the story here that isn't being said and I think it includes the LW not really understanding that people shouldn't be expected to work without their consent or a paycheck. 
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    These are a bunch of FAFO wedding guests and I'm here for it. 
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    There is more that happened here then, "We just wanted to clear the dance floor and everyone left!" 

    Just say that your IL's ruined your wedding and you blame your H for it, but then what?  

    I don't understand the dynamics at play here, but everyone sounds a little bit wrong...even you, LW.  But the wedding is water under the bridge at this point. 

    What are you and your H going to do to have a strong marriage, especially with a kid on the way? 
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    CasadenaCasadena member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    But guys...they "invited" people to work at their wedding reception! They were nice about it! 

    *sarcasm, hopefully obvious*

    LW is leaving out a lot of the story and i'm guessing like PP's that guests were annoyed that they were being asked to do labor/losing their seats potentially. 
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    Dang it!  Now I really want the guests' POV.  You KNOW whatever they were told was a doozy.  Even the ILs were upset.  The couple's first dance is the start of the second half of the reception, after dinner is done.  Nobody misunderstood and thought it was over.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Dang it!  Now I really want the guests' POV.  You KNOW whatever they were told was a doozy.  Even the ILs were upset.  The couple's first dance is the start of the second half of the reception, after dinner is done.  Nobody misunderstood and thought it was over.
    Everyone became upset and distant with us completely at random! It was so strange!
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    CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Right.  If someone asked me to move a chair to make more room for a dance floor, fine.  But if someone asked me to clear the table setting and move everything around - then yeah, I would also take it as a sign to leave?
    need the guests POV on this one too.

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