Wedding Woes

If you feel like you should leave then you probably should.

Dear Prudence, 

My partner and I blended families one and a half years ago. Over this time we have had significant issues with parenting styles that we are actively working through, among other issues.

About two weeks ago, he became visibly agitated and said it was “showing favoritism” when I informed him that I was taking my daughter (birth child) on a quick store run with me. I even told him that I just wanted to talk with her and make sure she was doing OK without everyone being around. I do not have downtime often with my two birth children since we have all moved in together. I feel that alone time is fine occasionally and I always include his two children. I am stressed and feeling resentful over this. But I’m afraid to bring it up again with him because I know it will start an argument. The strain of all our problems, and now this, has me seriously considering leaving him. Am I wrong for just wanting downtime with my own kids?

—Feeling Resentful

Re: If you feel like you should leave then you probably should.

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    Something is up with him. I watch way too much crime tv, so my mind is immediately going to something very fucked up, but he's probably just a shitty dad. 

    If you can't talk to him, leaving is probably best.
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    It's not showing 'favoritism' to have one-on-one time with your own kid.  He's an insecure asshat.  If you're 'afraid' to bring up that you should be able to have a separate relationship with your own kid and you're 'stressed and resentful', it's time to hit the road.  This isn't good for you and definitely not good for your kids.  If he's this awful about you spending time with your kid to check in with them on how they're feeling, I don't think I'd want to leave my kid in his care without me around.  
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    This is very controlling behavior that suggests your partner harbors some hostility toward your kids, or that he wants you to include his kids in everything so that he doesn't have to make an effort with them. You're not allowed to run errands with just your daughter so you two can talk one-on-one? It's not like you took your birth kids on a huge Disney vacation and made a big point of leaving his kids out of it. This is ridiculous and wrong.

    If you're this afraid to bring something up with him that's bothering you because everything becomes an argument, I think you should leave before you get in any deeper with this relationship. 

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    CasadenaCasadena member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    levioosa said:
    A man getting upset that the parent of a female child is taking her for some one on one time to check up on her well-being raises a loooot of red flags for me. 
    This was my first thought too. She should GTFO immediately. 
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