I wouldn't dog-sit for them again.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

My wife and I regularly dog-sit for friends when they are traveling. We enjoy having random new companions for our doggo, and it’s nice to have a reciprocal network when we leave town and don’t want to board our guy. This week, her friend dropped off their two beagles, before which she let us know the older one was “getting on in years.” Oh boy … this poor guy is not getting on in years, he should be mercifully done with his years. He’s blind, deaf, clearly in pain, can hardly walk, needs to be lifted just to go out, has to have his food spoon fed, has skin lesions etc,, etc. It’s sad and it’s hard to watch.

We are a little annoyed that they didn’t give us more of a heads up on this poor old boy’s condition, but our thoughts have now shifted to whether or not we should say something to her friends when they return. I fear it will come off as unwelcome/unsolicited advice on a sensitive topic, and they are not likely to listen to us. I don’t know these folks that well so I don’t care if they get upset with me, but my wife is more hesitant. I think any responsible vet would suggest it’s time to say goodbye, but is it our place to say something, or do we shush?

—Ruff Shape

banana468

I think I'd want to know if all of those details (lift him, spoon feed, lesions) were shown at drop off or did they come to have to do these things once they realized the dog was needing them to do it. 

If it was that upon drop off they were given a list of instructions for high maintenance doggo with no prior notice then I'd start with, "We loved him but felt that more information should have been provided with the level of independence he no longer has and the level of care that we would be required to provide."  If they didn't even TELL the LW this and they had to figure it out on their own I'd move with, "We determined that in order for him to eat we had to do this, he requires being lifted to leave the house and we do want to call your attention to the following skin lesions." 

And then if asked again say no.   

short+sassy

I read this letter that the LW is asking if they should tell their friends the dog should be put to sleep.

On the one hand, it's not their business.  But on the other hand, the dog is suffering.  The dog trumps it for me and I would at least say something, though very kindly.  Like, "I know It's really hard because we love our pets so much.  But have you all thought about that it might be time to put Baxter* to sleep?  He's in pain and can't even eat on his own anymore."  I wouldn't say anymore about it if they don't.  But I'd have to say something once.

*I made up the name because I like Baxter for a beagle.

levioosa

I mean, no, you can't tell them the dog needs to be euthanized. But you can say, "I understand this is part of your daily routine, and Rosco is a great dog, but I did want to let you know that this was a much larger undertaking then we had anticipated. We didn't realize we would have to lift him to help him use the restroom or x, y, z. In the future, if you travel and need care for him, those are helpful things to disclose." 

downtondiva

I don't think you should tell them the dog needs to be euthanized, but I do think you should not be available to dogsit for them in the future, especially if you found taking care of the dog physically taxing and/or they didn't bother to give you a heads up about his condition before dropping him off.