Dear Prudence,
I work at a small company that draws in fantastic people. The majority of my colleagues are smart and fun, and their values align. The boss, “Susan,” is not fun. She is brilliant, connected, strategic, and a true asset to the work.
She is also thin-skinned and impatient and sometimes crosses the line into bullying. I am one of a handful of managers who report to Susan, and out of all of us, I have the best relationship with her. I’ve found my lane, learned her style and her triggers, and very rarely have any friction with her. I’ve coached others on how to give Susan what she wants, and how to get and stay in her good graces. But that only goes so far.
One of my fellow managers is making noises about moving on, and I would hate to lose him, especially when he would almost certainly stay if only Susan would ease up on him. At the very least, I wish I could think of a way to let her know that she’ll lose a top performer if she carries on like this. Is there a way to do this from a safe distance? And can it be done without sacrificing my good relationship with Susan? She does not take criticism well, and I’ve seen her either fire or force out people she didn’t like. I bring in 70 percent of our household income, which makes me really wary of rocking the boat.
—Safe, Not Sound