Dear Prudence,
My husband of 11 years and father of our two children died by suicide six years ago. He struggled with depression and untreated OCD for years and left me in the dark as to the severity of his symptoms. My children and I have mostly healed and are living full and busy lives. My issue is my former mother-in-law. I am very close with my husband’s sister, and his father is great. Initially, I spent a lot of time with them after his death because it brought me comfort.
Last Christmas, I came across a collage at the in-laws in the bedroom my kids would sleep in for overnights. My face was blacked out in a picture of me and my husband and kids. There were also sayings posted that said things about “finding justice” and that he was “made to appear broken by the woman who broke him.” These phrases surrounded pictures of my late husband. My MIL and I have never been close, and there have been some tense exchanges after his death, but to me this just translates into “you killed my son / his death is your fault.” I told my kids to stay out of that room, but this recent Christmas my teenager was escaping family time and saw the collage. Now there is a sign that says “The Truth” with my husband’s picture on it.
I tried gently asking her about it over text, but she was evasive in her answers. I’d rather just be out with it, I don’t have the time or energy for passive aggressive swipes. What should I do? My kids are old enough now where they have seen this and it’s impacting how they act towards their grandma. I’ve tried letting it go, but it has gotten under my skin.
—I Did Not Kill My Husband