Wedding Woes

You have a year to buy a gift. This is a non-issue.

Dear Prudence,

A while back, my cousin asked if I would officiate her wedding, and I was delighted to accept. (I’m not an officiant by trade, but I’m authorized to perform marriages through a popular online church.) Though it was never explicitly discussed, I assumed I was volunteering my services without any expectation of payment. I thought of it as my wedding gift to the newlyweds, and, accordingly, I didn’t purchase anything from their registry.

The wedding was roughly two weeks ago, and everything went smoothly. Later that night, both the bride and the bride’s parents (my aunt and uncle) separately slipped me thank-you cards—each of which, I later discovered, contained $100. Am I now obligated to buy a wedding gift, since I’ve been thanked to the tune of $200? Was it even appropriate for me to treat my officiating duties as a wedding gift in the first place?

—Paid for My Service

Re: You have a year to buy a gift. This is a non-issue.

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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Buy them a gift.  They gave you one and you should do the same. 
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    Buy them a gift. It’s not like you spent time or money to be the officiant. Just send them something from the registry. 
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    I think it was fine to assume officiating was their gift.  I would have felt the same way.  But since the bride and her parents did end up paying them, it would be nice for them to buy something off of the registry.  But they aren't obligated to and shouldn't feel they have to spend the whole $200, unless they want to.  
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