Dear Prudence,
A while back, my cousin asked if I would officiate her wedding, and I was delighted to accept. (I’m not an officiant by trade, but I’m authorized to perform marriages through a popular online church.) Though it was never explicitly discussed, I assumed I was volunteering my services without any expectation of payment. I thought of it as my wedding gift to the newlyweds, and, accordingly, I didn’t purchase anything from their registry.
The wedding was roughly two weeks ago, and everything went smoothly. Later that night, both the bride and the bride’s parents (my aunt and uncle) separately slipped me thank-you cards—each of which, I later discovered, contained $100. Am I now obligated to buy a wedding gift, since I’ve been thanked to the tune of $200? Was it even appropriate for me to treat my officiating duties as a wedding gift in the first place?
—Paid for My Service