Do not, do not, do not bake a damn thing for this wedding.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I work part time for a baker. We do all kinds of events and deliveries. I made the mistake of offering to cover a friend’s courthouse wedding at cost. My boss has let me use her kitchen for personal reasons before. It was supposed to be for two dozen fancy cupcakes. Because of the bridezilla, that has ballooned to over a hundred and their own custom cake. I told my friend that it wouldn’t be physically possible for me to do it myself, let alone financially. The bride then threatened to sue me and said I owed them to cover the costs of using a real caterer. My friend didn’t do anything to defend me, so I ended up bowing out of the wedding all together. The entire experience soured me on trying to do anything like this again. A lot of friends and family scold me for not even “trying” to compromise and thought I still owed my friend our original agreement.

Now a relative I am close to is getting married and asked if I would reconsider my stance. I would expect the first bridezilla is currently in the wedding party. I have been avoiding her and my former friend as much as possible and not putting myself in a position where I have to listen to their bitching. I don’t want to start a drama here, but I feel an alternative is to lie to my relatives. Thoughts?

—Bake Off

banana468

I'd be really clear that you just don't mix business and pleasure.  Let the relative know that unfortunately due to prior issues it lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings and the best way to avoid that is to not have the mix in the first place. 

Casadena

There are so many easy excuses here if you don't want to be super blunt or feel like you're causing "drama". to be clear, LW is definitely not doing anything wrong, but i get how they might feel attacked by everyone and feel like they are. 

"oh, the kitchen isn't available that week, i'm so sorry!"
"ugh, unfortunately the business cracked down on this kind of thing and we're not allowed to do it for friends/family anymore"

stuff like that. 

OR just tell them all to F off (which is what I personally would do)

charlotte989875

Stop mixing business and personal. It didn’t work the first time and honestly it’s probably not going to end well if that bride is in the wedding party. Politely decline and recommend a baker for them. 

mrsconn23

LW, you need to find a backbone. 

You should have found it for the 'bridezilla' and told her you only had the time and money to bake the originally agreed upon amount of cupcakes. 

Also, why the hell are your friends and family taking her side?  Either there's more to the story or you've been everyone's doormat for your entire life.  

LW your lack of ability to put your foot down is what causes this kind of drama.  'No' isn't a dirty word.  Say it with your chest.   

Furthermore, people lie, ALL THE TIME.  Good god stop being a ninny and all, "I don't want to lie!" LIE FOR YOUR OWN MENTAL HEALTH 

Or say this...  "Bridezilla is in your wedding party and you know how it went with her wedding.  I just don't want you to have to deal with any fallout if she finds out I did your cake/cupcakes.  I'm saving you a headache."