Wedding Woes

Follow through on what you've said you'll do.

Dear Prudence,

My sister has been diagnosed with a neurological condition where she can no longer live alone. She has seizures and falls. It was only by the grace of God that a neighbor came by and saw her. Neither of her children were willing to have her move in with them, so she moved in with me. It was a mistake. She and her children make zero effort to respect me or my home. It isn’t a dumping ground for free childcare or dog-sitting. I am tired of coming home to find that my sister agreed to watch her grandchildren for the weekend without telling me, and their mother turns off her phone so I can’t tell her to come back to get them. I am in my backyard watching it get trashed because my nephew took a job out of town and dumped his large dogs on us for a week (they are large and unwalkable).

I have repeatedly told them this is unacceptable, and they don’t care. My sister argues that this is her home too, and she doesn’t need my “permission.” We had fights, and I told her to pack her bags if she doesn’t like living under my roof. She isn’t going to find a hole in the ground for what social security she gets, and her children will definitely not help. She locks herself in her room and cries. I finally told my niece that if she drops her kids off again, I will call CPS (she’s had trouble with them before). I also told my nephew I will drop his dogs at the shelter. They can get off their asses and make other arrangements. It is a huge mess, and my sister claims I am stressing her so much that her condition is getting worse. I love her, but this is insane. Please advise.

—Too Much

Re: Follow through on what you've said you'll do.

  • Options
    Another Prudie letter where people don't understand the consequences of their actions.

    The sister is stressing herself out by being such a bad roommate that she is getting kicked out.

    It's atrocious none of her kids will take her in, yet also want a constant babysitter.

    If their mom's health is too poor for her to live alone, then she can't agree to be a babysitter.  They need to ask the LW, but then they don't because they know she will usually say no.

    A public blast needs to go out to the nieces and nephews.  No children or pets can be left at the house without the LW agreeing to it, ahead of time.  Otherwise CPS or the pound will be called.

    It's harsh.  But the LW is already doing everyone a huge favor and she will continue to be taken advantage of, if there is no punishment.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    LW has already laid out the reasonable threats. Now she has to follow through. 

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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    There was a reason her kids wouldn't take her and I think you just found out why.

    It's time to follow through.  Quite frankly, if I had to call CPS and/or drop dogs off at a shelter, both of which would be very difficult for me to follow through on, I'd kick sister out, even if it's just dropping her and her stuff on the front lawn.  There's a lot of entitlement going on from a lot of people in your family.  It's up to you to decide how you want to be treated.
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