Dear Prudence,
Last year, my sister emailed me a $50 gift card attached to an e-card for my birthday. I haven’t participated in gift-giving for decades, and she knows this and hasn’t sent me anything in the past. Our parents recently passed away (I was an end-of-life caretaker for both) and I think she wants to stay close. I didn’t open it for a while but when I saw the e-card in my inbox I said, “Thanks.” She told me to enjoy the gift, to which I responded that I don’t do gifts. She said that she does. When I finally opened it and realized there was a cash gift card attached, I forwarded it to my daughter with an explanation (she knows my sister irritates me). For my sister’s birthday, I passive-aggressively sent her a $75 gift card.
If she sends me another gift card, would it be rude to forward it to her daughter? I don’t want to be mean but I don’t want a gift either. We have a fairly large family (I’m one of five and we all have kids) and receiving gifts gives me recipient anxiety. I know this is my problem, not hers. She said she enjoys bringing people joy through gifts. But it doesn’t bring me joy, it brings me stress.
—Happy Curmudgeonly