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No one wants to play with someone like you.

Dear Prudence,

I enjoy playing games with family members. One card game we sometimes play is pinochle. I like pinochle because there are certain rules that reduce the need to make difficult decisions, such as always playing a card in the suit that was led if you have one, always playing a higher card in the suit than the player to your right if you have one, and always trumping if you don’t have a card in the suit led. Recently, two family members on the other team ignored those rules and I called them on it. I don’t think they intended to cheat but the result is the same as intentionally cheating. Everyone got mad at me. Was I wrong for pointing this out?

—Likes Playing Games By the Rules

Re: No one wants to play with someone like you.

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    banana468banana468 member
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    I need to know more about the rules of the game.  Is this like Uno where you can be called out if you play the wild draw 4 when you can actually play?  Or is this more nuanced? 

    I'm a rules girl so if this is clear cut I'm with the LW that they're mad that they got caught and you upset the 'fun' but that doesn't make addressing it wrong. 
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    This is one of those things about card games. Yes games like this usually have a lot of rules, but people playing choose how stringently to stick to them and which "house rules" to use. It sounds like your family is more laid back in their approach. This is one of those things where majority rules. If you don't want to play in their style, don't play with them. 
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    mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
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    This is one of those things about card games. Yes games like this usually have a lot of rules, but people playing choose how stringently to stick to them and which "house rules" to use. It sounds like your family is more laid back in their approach. This is one of those things where majority rules. If you don't want to play in their style, don't play with them. 
    This. We play a lot of euchre and follow the rules.  We even tell on ourselves when we mess up.  But LW may have been so pedantic about it that when their cousin was like, "Oh we'll let it go...", LW had to belabor the point.  That's really annoying when you're just trying to have fun. 
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    levioosalevioosa member
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    Hello neurodivergent friend, you have got to let this go. This is seriously a non-issue and part of playing family games. This isn't a league. This is a family game at the dinner table. 


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    I think it's okay to call people out if they are breaking the games rules, but it really depends on how it was done.

    Saying something calmly like, "You're normally not supposed to play the Queen of Hearts, if you have the King to play instead.  Was that a mistake or do we want to all agree those plays are okay?"

    We did that all the time when I was growing up, but I don't remember it ever being mean or anyone getting upset.  Sometimes it was a misunderstanding on how different people play and we would then decide on the rule.  Sometimes a person made a mistake and it was "sorry, thanks for the reminder".  Sometimes a person did it on purpose and would look guilty.  We would very jokingly call them a "cheater" and that we "needed to keep an eye on them".

    But if everyone got upset, including the LW's game partner, they probably didn't handle the situation very well.  Especially their comment about how even if it was an unintentional mistake it was still cheating.  Geez, that's harsh for a family game!
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