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Wedding Woes

This is...a trashy circus.

Dear Prudence,

So my half-sister (mom’s side) hooked up with my stepbrother (dad’s side), which I repeatedly said was a bad idea. Lo and behold, the pair of idiots didn’t use protection and my half-sister got pregnant. She wanted the baby, he didn’t, and they broke up.

During that time, my half-sister lost her shit. She got together with a new guy and claimed the baby was “really” his. They broke up around the birth and a DNA test proved it was my stepbrother’s. Then suddenly, my stepbrother was this colossal deadbeat who could never do anything right. My half-sister would constantly need cash for the baby’s needs and then refuse to accept items like diapers or clothes from my stepbrother. She hated that my stepbrother started dating his current girlfriend even though she was seeing plenty of other guys, including baby daddy #2.

I refused to get in the middle of it for three years—until now. I needed a roommate so my stepbrother and his girlfriend moved in with me. They don’t drink or party. Both of them are employed. Those are my standards. My half-sister meets none of them. That hasn’t stopped my mother and her from treating me like a family traitor. My half-sister was fighting with various family members and wanted to move in with me. I said no and she has carried a grudge ever since. I would just avoid her, but I am very close to my 12-year-old half-brother and he needs all the support he can get with all the craziness. What do I do here? My half-sister tries to pick a fight with me every time I go over.

—Stuck With Crazy

Re: This is...a trashy circus.

  • What a shit show. 

    Can you help in other ways? Pick little brother up from school and drop him off at home? Take him out for lunch? Go to his school or sports events and avoid the house? 

    And...uhhh....you know half sister is using or drinking, right? 


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  • Where’s the Marie Kundo “I love mess” gif when we need it?? 

    But yah find other ways to help; school/sports pick up, dinners out, sleepovers. Help him however you can but don’t put yourself or your home at risk. 
  • More than 4 roommates in the world.

    Interesting how that is a lot of vitriol against her half-sister, when it's the stepbrother who has also been a jerk and taken zero responsibility for his child.  Not even financial support.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Minus to quasi-incest, this is the type of shit the kiddo's ex pulls.  It's why we're all currently 'no contact' until it's been proven the baby is his.  The kiddo has her blocked, but DH and I can be reached by her.  

    LW you're a dumbass to move stepbrother and gf in.  You're borrowing trouble.  And you never 'stayed out of it'.  Stop it. 

    If you're concerned about anyone, it should be the kids.  These adults need to be on their own and live with their choices. 
  • mrsconn23 said:
    Minus to quasi-incest, this is the type of shit the kiddo's ex pulls.  It's why we're all currently 'no contact' until it's been proven the baby is his.  The kiddo has her blocked, but DH and I can be reached by her.  

    LW you're a dumbass to move stepbrother and gf in.  You're borrowing trouble.  And you never 'stayed out of it'.  Stop it. 

    If you're concerned about anyone, it should be the kids.  These adults need to be on their own and live with their choices. 
    Oh no!  I remember their relationship has been rocky, but didn't realize (or remember) that they'd ended it in such a bad way that they are now no contact.

    Has a paternity test been ordered?  Feel free to tell me it's none of my business, lol.  But I'd think everyone would want to know for sure, either way.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • mrsconn23 said:
    Minus to quasi-incest, this is the type of shit the kiddo's ex pulls.  It's why we're all currently 'no contact' until it's been proven the baby is his.  The kiddo has her blocked, but DH and I can be reached by her.  

    LW you're a dumbass to move stepbrother and gf in.  You're borrowing trouble.  And you never 'stayed out of it'.  Stop it. 

    If you're concerned about anyone, it should be the kids.  These adults need to be on their own and live with their choices. 
    Oh no!  I remember their relationship has been rocky, but didn't realize (or remember) that they'd ended it in such a bad way that they are now no contact.

    Has a paternity test been ordered?  Feel free to tell me it's none of my business, lol.  But I'd think everyone would want to know for sure, either way.
    Baby isn't here yet and we'd have to get a court-order (and pay $$$$) to do one in-vitro.  We're just biding our time at the moment.  

    She was harassing him and doing a lot of nefarious shit (which includes, but is not limited to, kicking him out of their apt, keeping his  (actually our) TV, cutting off his phone, and contacting his bio-mom, with whom he's extremely low to no contact with after the summer he went out there and it was a whole debacle), which led him to block her.  She tried to drag us in at one point, but we didn't take her bait, so she got bored.  She actually won't contact me at all, because she knows I've seen through her bullshit this whole time and doesn't know what to do with that.  LOL 
  • mrsconn23 said:
    mrsconn23 said:
    Minus to quasi-incest, this is the type of shit the kiddo's ex pulls.  It's why we're all currently 'no contact' until it's been proven the baby is his.  The kiddo has her blocked, but DH and I can be reached by her.  

    LW you're a dumbass to move stepbrother and gf in.  You're borrowing trouble.  And you never 'stayed out of it'.  Stop it. 

    If you're concerned about anyone, it should be the kids.  These adults need to be on their own and live with their choices. 
    Oh no!  I remember their relationship has been rocky, but didn't realize (or remember) that they'd ended it in such a bad way that they are now no contact.

    Has a paternity test been ordered?  Feel free to tell me it's none of my business, lol.  But I'd think everyone would want to know for sure, either way.
    Baby isn't here yet and we'd have to get a court-order (and pay $$$$) to do one in-vitro.  We're just biding our time at the moment.  

    She was harassing him and doing a lot of nefarious shit (which includes, but is not limited to, kicking him out of their apt, keeping his  (actually our) TV, cutting off his phone, and contacting his bio-mom, with whom he's extremely low to no contact with after the summer he went out there and it was a whole debacle), which led him to block her.  She tried to drag us in at one point, but we didn't take her bait, so she got bored.  She actually won't contact me at all, because she knows I've seen through her bullshit this whole time and doesn't know what to do with that.  LOL 
    That makes sense.  I didn't realize the baby hadn't been born yet.  I've heard paternity tests are a lot easier (and cheaper) after the birth.

    I'm sorry to hear how badly she treated him and that it's turned into such a shit show for you all.  If it is his baby, I hope they can let go of the angry past and be good co-parents together.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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