Wedding Woes
Options

Your options are up to you.

Dear Prudence,

I just bought my first place and proudly hosted a get-together to celebrate. My father decided to spring his new girlfriend and her 12-year-old kid on me at the party. I was too busy trying to host and make sure there was enough food to be more than annoyed at this. My house isn’t exactly child-friendly and I have a lot of breakable stuff plus two elderly cats.

They were chilling on the landing to the second floor when the kid asked if he could pet them. I told him they were not very friendly to strangers and to leave them alone. The little brat decided to ignore me and chase the cats into my bedroom, then he locked the door and tried to drag my cats from under my bed. Instead, my cats scratched him up and he ended up knocking down my bedside lamp and breaking it.

It was that noise that alerted me. I got upstairs and pounded on the door. The kid was crying and I was pissed. I went to the mother and asked if they would kindly leave. She got defensive and tried to blame my cats and said her son was just a “kid.” I said that if he were 3, I would understand, but given that he was 12 and apparently can’t follow simple directions or have the common sense not to wander into a stranger’s bedroom and lock the door to harass my pets—it was time for both of them to go. It was almost a scene but my father had enough sense to hustle them both out.

Now the girlfriend wants an official apology and I told my father that will happen when she pays for the lamp her kid broke. This entire scenario is just stupid from start to finish. Other than just avoiding my father (because he has always been glued to the hip of his many girlfriends ever since my mom died), what are my options here?

—Annoyed

Re: Your options are up to you.

  • Options
    He's 12?! I would be shocked if my 9 y/o nephew acted that way. 

    Anyway, it sounds like dad knows the kid was out of line and the gf is out of place, but he's enjoys chasing the cats as much as his pseudo-stepson. So I'd just wait it out.
  • Options
    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Well, the cats took care of the problem for you.  He won't bother them again.  (Not excusing his behavior, but it should've worked).  I wouldn't apologize either, OP did nothing wrong.  I wouldn't make it conditional either, even if she paid for the lamp, I wouldn't apologize.

    I'd just wait it out as well.  But if invitations came up again, I'd be very clear with my boundaries and if they can't meet the requirements (12-year-old isn't allowed in these spaces and can't bother my cats), they wouldn't be invited.
  • Options
    He's 12?! I would be shocked if my 9 y/o nephew acted that way. 

    Anyway, it sounds like dad knows the kid was out of line and the gf is out of place, but he's enjoys chasing the cats as much as his pseudo-stepson. So I'd just wait it out.
    😂
  • Options
    You told the kid to leave the cats alone, specifically because they don't like strangers, and he didn't listen. He's old enough to know better. You have nothing to apologize for. 

    If your father's had that many girlfriends since your mom died, this woman and the brat may not be around long. But for as long as they are, see your father somewhere else in case he decides to include them again without telling you. It should be made clear that kid is not welcome in your home.
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