Wedding Woes

4 men, the golden years edition.

Dear Prudence,

I’m a 60 (F) and currently in a relationship with a 65 (M). He is a nice person but very clingy. I enjoy going to the movies by myself because he usually falls asleep due to his work schedule. He works from 5:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. I work 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. shifts. In addition, he’s got two children 34 (M) and 21 (M) by two different women whom he’s still close to. The younger son’s mother is under the impression they’re still together and I base it on him not setting clear boundaries with her or lying that he’s not seeing anyone else. I confronted him about it and he said it’s not true, but I can’t shake the feeling that he’s lying. He keeps deleting his messages from his phone and whenever he comes over, he hides his phone under the pillow and it’s on vibrate so it will not make alerts/noise to pique my curiosity.

He’s always making comments about marrying me but never cementing it with a proposal—not that I really want to get married again. One Christmas he bought me a ring and the jeweler asked if he was looking for an engagement ring and he quickly said no, which I can’t deny hurt my feelings. I told him, and he apologized saying that we had just started dating and it was too soon to think about that, but it’s been three years and he always wants to get intimate, which honestly doesn’t interest me anymore and I only do it because he whines like a little boy when I say no. My kids and family all like him and refer to him as their stepfather but I have only met his older son and none of his family members. He claims it’s because he had a rough childhood and is not close to his family which I call BS. I need advice. Should I just cut ties with him now so I can see if I will find someone else who is more compatible with me or stick it out and see where it goes?

—60 and Confused

Re: 4 men, the golden years edition.

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    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Um, he's married and OP, you're the sidepiece.  And it doesn't sound like you really want to be, so ditch him.  It sounds like you'd be fine single.
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    Do you really want to spend the last 20ish years of your life unhappy and pressured into bad sex? 
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    levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Literally what is appealing about this man? 

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    He's hiding his phone and not introducing the LW to his family because he's clearly cheating.  Though the LW seems to think this is only suspicious.

    If he isn't falling asleep, he's pressuring her for sex that she doesn't enjoy anyway.  The only nice thing she says about him is that her family likes him.  It's time to move on and find someone she likes spending time with and that isn't a cheater.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    levioosa said:
    Literally what is appealing about this man? 
    Right? LW you have one foot out the door already and your just looking for Prudie (or you know we exist….?!?) to tell you to put out the other.

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