Dear Prudence,
My girlfriend has the most stressful best friend of all time. I like this woman, she’s always been kind to me, and I genuinely believe she’s doing her best. Thank God she is in therapy. Her professional life is impressive but her family and personal life have carved some big scars. And they feel constantly really close to the surface, like nearly anything can send her into an emotional downward spiral. She really does seem to be trying to keep it together the best she can and isn’t manipulative, but it’s a constant string of psychiatric holds and tearful promises. We’re in our 30s!
I try to keep our interactions minimal but be friendly and light when I do see her. She’s never been pushy or jealous about how my girlfriend spends her time but at the same time, it feels like she is a black hole of sadness and distress. Since we’re all women, my girlfriend initially pushed hard for us to become friends. I privately told her that I couldn’t handle it and now we’re just acquaintances. But also, this woman stresses me out and makes me worry basically whenever her name is mentioned. How do I chill about this?
—Can’t Handle It