Wedding Woes

My GF's BFF is a Eeyore and I find it frustrating.

Dear Prudence,

My girlfriend has the most stressful best friend of all time. I like this woman, she’s always been kind to me, and I genuinely believe she’s doing her best. Thank God she is in therapy. Her professional life is impressive but her family and personal life have carved some big scars. And they feel constantly really close to the surface, like nearly anything can send her into an emotional downward spiral. She really does seem to be trying to keep it together the best she can and isn’t manipulative, but it’s a constant string of psychiatric holds and tearful promises. We’re in our 30s!

I try to keep our interactions minimal but be friendly and light when I do see her. She’s never been pushy or jealous about how my girlfriend spends her time but at the same time, it feels like she is a black hole of sadness and distress. Since we’re all women, my girlfriend initially pushed hard for us to become friends. I privately told her that I couldn’t handle it and now we’re just acquaintances. But also, this woman stresses me out and makes me worry basically whenever her name is mentioned. How do I chill about this?

—Can’t Handle It

Re: My GF's BFF is a Eeyore and I find it frustrating.

  • Options
    Be chill by reminding yourself this isn’t your problem to solve. It also doesn’t seem like your GF is pushing you all to be friends after you said no- so don’t. Be polite if she’s around, be clear with your GF that hearing the details of BFF’s situation is too much, and minimize the time you spend with her. 

    But beyond that it seems like your GF and the BFF are respectful of the boundaries you’ve laid out. You don’t have to like to be friends with the BFF but don’t let your feelings for her interfere with their friendship. Your GF is allowed to have a difference tolerance for her friends struggles than you have. 
  • Options
    VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Don't eff with anyone's BFF, seriously.

    OP is just creating drama for themselves, as well as being an asshole quite frankly (the mention of her name stresses you out?), and needs to stop.

    Also, since they're all queer women, OP sounds jealous AF and really needs to kibosh that one.
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