This would drive me batty too.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I love my husband and am attracted to him, but I feel like I’ve run out of patience for a new insecurity he can’t stop talking about. He’s starting to go bald. I honestly do not care if he has hair or not, but he does. His hair loss isn’t a shock because his dad and both grandads are also bald. But he worries about it all the time, asks me about whether it looks different, obsesses over whether hair fell out in the shower, asks me to take daily pictures from the back and more. I would estimate we have 120 minutes of hair related reassurance conversation per week.

We’re raising kids and working and maintaining a hobby together, but we spend so much time talking about his hair. He’s usually a confident guy, so this is new. I suggested he make a dermatology appointment because it can be treated, but that made him more upset. I know that insecurities are hard and god knows I have my own body worries, but I’m sick of this topic. It’s fixable, and I’m starting to feel like a therapist. We have an otherwise wonderful marriage, but I’m so tired of this. How can I politely but firmly get him to either treat it or stop harping? He’s sexy with hair, and he’d be sexy bald, as long as he wasn’t talking about it constantly.

—Lost Patience

banana468

"Honey.  I love you.  I love you with hair, with thinning hair and I'd love you if you had NO hair.  But I need to tell you that I find these conversations exhausting.  I really think that if something like this is going to be so much of an issue for you then we need to talk about what's going on and the options that you want to take." 

VarunaTT

i like what @banana468 said and maybe start shooting him some sexy pics of bald dudes and talk about how hot you think they are.  Start some sexy times while stroking his head and things to boost his ego about it.

I get where he's coming from.  I'm completely obsessed with my thinning eyebrows.  It's complete vanity and I know it.  I'm using Rogaine on them, but I honestly look at my brows every day and pics of myself younger and mourn the loss of my thick full brows that I always loved about my face.  I'm not really sure I'll ever accept/get past it, though I try to reframe every time.  I'd probably annoy the eff out of any partner about it.  2 hours/week isn't really that much time to reassure the person you love.

banana468

VarunaTT said:

i like what @banana468 said and maybe start shooting him some sexy pics of bald dudes and talk about how hot you think they are.  Start some sexy times while stroking his head and things to boost his ego about it.

I get where he's coming from.  I'm completely obsessed with my thinning eyebrows.  It's complete vanity and I know it.  I'm using Rogaine on them, but I honestly look at my brows every day and pics of myself younger and mourn the loss of my thick full brows that I always loved about my face.  I'm not really sure I'll ever accept/get past it, though I try to reframe every time.  I'd probably annoy the eff out of any partner about it.  2 hours/week isn't really that much time to reassure the person you love.

@VarunaTT I think you also make good points.  I have my own insecurities and ask DH for some reassurance.  For DH he has his own concerns over his body issues.  I talked to my own dermatologist and brought him info.  I mentioned that they can help but it's up to him.  He didn't do anything and I dropped it - so did he.   I still love him and told him he looks better now that he did in our 20s.  The jerk.