Dear Prudence,
When is it appropriate to express concern about someone’s dietary habits, and when should you respect their bodily autonomy? I have a friend who went through a difficult time during the pandemic, and during that time she started learning about Ayurveda, and started practicing an Ayurvedic diet. From what I understand of the principles of Ayurveda, this all sounds healthy! However, her diet has become more and more restrictive, and I think interferes with her ability to enjoy herself, and eating. I think she might have orthorexia, and that controlling her diet gives her a sense of control over other things in her life. Ordering food at restaurants produces a lot of anxiety for her. We were traveling together recently, and she contracted COVID and I took care of her. At one point, she refused to allow me to use the microwave in our Airbnb to heat up some food for her because microwaves add too much “vata” to the food.
I’m not sure if I should talk to her about this. First of all, I think people should respect other people’s food choices! Secondly, she is very focused on being an expert in “wellness” and gets angry and argumentative when anyone disagrees with her or tries to suggest anything other than something that supports her views on alternative medicine. She is a lovely person in many ways and has suffered some difficulties in the past few years. But I think she might have the beginnings of an eating disorder, and I don’t know what to do. How do I tell if this is none of my business or if should say something? And if I should say something, do you have advice for what to say to someone who gets angry when they’re challenged?
—Not Sure This Is Healthy