Dear Prudence,
I am the youngest of three, and I’ve always had a close relationship with my sister, who’s in the middle. All that changed when she found out that I started dating. Last spring, I started taking classes at my local gym, and I slowly befriended this very attractive guy. At the time, I was unsure of whether I really wanted to be in a relationship, so I wasn’t keen on telling anyone. A few weeks after my first date with my current boyfriend, my sister asked me if I was dating the guy from my yoga class. I told her no, which wasn’t the truth. I was scared of being honest, as she can sometimes be judgmental. My boyfriend is also 10 years older than me.
From that point onwards, my relationship with my sister soured. She started getting annoyed with me for a bunch of different things. She’s accused me of judging her decision to pursue IVF (which is something I don’t recall. I’ve always tried to support her and encourage her with her goals). She’s also said that I have the tendency of “throwing her words back at her,” because I often ask her if she’s okay whenever she brings up a difficult topic. She’s now unhappy with me because I didn’t inform her or my eldest sister about taking my boyfriend to my friend’s wedding. She says she was caught off guard by the fact that I was going to bring a date to my friend’s wedding, and she says she doesn’t like being caught off guard. I’ve grown up with the belief that I’m always in the wrong and everything I do is never good enough, so I know I make a lot of mistakes. But, my sister’s reactions to things just feel a bit hard to understand. I just don’t know what to do. What would you do, Prudie?
—Always in the Wrong