I've got...nothing...for this LW.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I’m a 41-year-old woman, and this is regarding a man who is 32. He has cut me off by “blocking” me everywhere, and I feel we have known each other too long for him not to give an explanation. We have known each other for 10 years. He asked me to marry him in 2015, but I decided I was making another go at the first year of medical school (from which I ultimately dropped out), so I regret turning down his proposal. He married the next girl he met on tinder in 2017. He and I had an affair in 2019-2020; at that point, he started asking me to pay him for our liaisons. I have given him probably $25k and more money here and there this year. He divorced her three years in.

My family got me to move out of Virginia away from him to NJ for the better part of three years because they didn’t like me paying him. Now, I’ve convinced my family to allow me to move back to Virginia, and he had said a few weeks ago he’d probably see me in a month, but now radio silence. I suspect he’s seeing someone else. I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. It’s as if I have been seeing this man for 10 years and I found no one else in the meantime. I need him to continue to see me or give the reason we cannot continue instead of just “blocking” me. How do I promote that?

—Too Long for Block or Breadcrumb

CharmedPam

25k? He must be REALLY good in the sack.
there’s nothing you CAN do, LW, short of being a stalker.  He has spoken by doing.

levioosa

Um, I think you need to face the music LW. You had a transactional relationship. He was your sugar baby, and now he's done. You were emotionally invested and he saw you as a meal ticket. It's harsh but that's the reality. 

short+sassy

The LW really needs to take this opportunity to just get over this guy and move on.  He sounds like an AH anyway.  She needs to understand he's not interested in her anymore.  Probably hasn't been for years.

The LW is scary sounding and I bet she said something that freaked him out.  It sounds like they haven't even seen each other in 3 years.  Maybe they weren't even in touch that much.

To him, she's probably a long ago ex-g/f he rarely thinks about.  While to her, he's the love of her life.  If she gave even a hint of that vibe, he should be blocking her.

mrsconn23

Did anyone else read this and exhale a sigh of relief this person didn't make it to be a doctor?  Just me?  LOL 

LW, you're a mess and need intense therapy to start and a lot of other things to follow.  Leave this man alone before you're legally told to do so. 

banana468

Therapy??   Because you're a 41 yo medical school drop out who has spent $25 on a NJ to VA length string.   Stop making bad choices.

VarunaTT

Both of them need some therapy.

But LW, take the boundary and use it to start a new chapter in your life.  You can't see being with anyone else now...that will change.

levioosa

Also I have some feels about the fact that LW was 32 and dude was 23. I always think an age gap between someone in their early 20s and someone in their 30s is weird and creepy. 

banana468

levioosa said:

Also I have some feels about the fact that LW was 32 and dude was 23. I always think an age gap between someone in their early 20s and someone in their 30s is weird and creepy. 

And I haven't met a lot of guys who wanted to settle in their 20s.  Now in my 40s I can think of two couples I know who married young and are still married and they don't have a large age difference.

MyNameIsNot

levioosa said:

Also I have some feels about the fact that LW was 32 and dude was 23. I always think an age gap between someone in their early 20s and someone in their 30s is weird and creepy. 

This is what I was thinking too. He was 23, she was 32 when he proposed. So they were probably "dating" for at least a little bit before that. 

He's not great, but she comes of predatory here between being that much older, sleeping with him while he was married, and now not taking no for an answer. It seems like she thinks the money entitles her to access and that's really gross. 

short+sassy

banana468 said:

levioosa said:

Also I have some feels about the fact that LW was 32 and dude was 23. I always think an age gap between someone in their early 20s and someone in their 30s is weird and creepy. 

And I haven't met a lot of guys who wanted to settle in their 20s.  Now in my 40s I can think of two couples I know who married young and are still married and they don't have a large age difference.

My shameful secret.  I didn't watch the first season of MILF Manor, but I did watch the second one that just finished.

All the young guys say they want a serious relationship.  But something this show mostly ignores is if any of these young guys want kids someday, then they aren't going to be a long-term match with women in their 40s (or older).  Women who either can't have children anymore and/or don't want more children.

I have read some Ask Me Anything (AMAs) from cast members.  NONE of them knew the show they were going to be on or even that it was going to be younger men/older women show.  They were told it was a reality dating show and that was about it.  Though they filled out questionnaires before being chosen that asked what ages they would consider dating.